Free To Live
by dooski
Summary: Max spends 3 years away from her friends while running and setting up TC. She meets up with them once it is settled enough that she can leave. Will Max finally go after what she truly wants with no one left to fight? MA [complete]
1. Chapter 1

**disclaimer: **I don't own Dark Angel or these characters  
**setting/time line**: almost 3 years after the show ended  
**pairings**: Max/Alec hinted; Logan/Asha

Max has the true freedom that she's been denied for her entire life, at the cost of 3 years of separation from her closest friends and family. There's no one to fight, run from, or defend anymore. How will Max find her place for the future in a world that taught her to hide her true self and past?

Free to Live

**

* * *

**

**Intro**

Max gave her old friend a genuine, warm hug to greet her. She hadn't seen her in such a long time! Setting up a city and making sure everything went smoothly had taken over Max's life. What had started out as a way to help her family and fellow transgenics had quickly become a seemingly endless task. Max had never intended to literally drop her life in order to permanently be the leader of Terminal City.

She didn't hold any regrets for her choices, though. Although Terminal City had taken a good 3 years from her life, she wasn't upset. In fact, she was proud. Her quaint little city had truly blossomed. She was extremely happy that she was finally ready to leave the place to its own affairs.

"How's my boo?" her old friend greeted, talking out of habit more than just naturally asking a question. Cindy took a breath as Max noticed tears forming in her friend's dark eyes.

Max, too, had to shake the urge to cry. She had expected that it would be emotional but that didn't make her any more prepared for what she was feeling.. Max didn't realize she could miss the embrace of someone who didn't have a bar-code so much. She'd been surrounded by transgenics for so long that she didn't feel she quite fit in anymore in the "real world".

She knew that was not true, though. It was just going to take her some time to adjust to no longer being the leader of an all transgenic city. She was finally escaping a life of seemingly endless paperwork, working to gather the basic necessities of life, trying to look professional for good PR, and of course there was the baby mama drama that sometimes irked its way into her schedule of running the place. Not to mention White and his familiars who had been a pain in her ass for far too long. If White hadn't been there to make things difficult, she might have been able to leave the place sooner. But battling him as well as their own image just for equal rights was one fight that she wasn't trained in. Her instincts helped her in battles with strength and fighting techniques. She'd been ignoring those instincts though, or rather, putting them in the very back of her mind all this time to get to more pressing matters, as they were, like sorting through rations just to get by.

Both emotional women regained their composure enough to smile and simply enjoy the moment. "You know, I've been busy, fighting off the bad guys, holding town meetings, …but one thing I've failed to do…" Max trailed.

"Is what?" OC asked her, curious.

Max grinned. "Kick it with my homegirl!"

OC laughed. "Well, Boo, Original Cindy's been kickin' it, but it just ain't been right without you."

Max nodded, understanding. "So…got some new lickety chick you want to introduce me to?" Max asked, partly just joking and trying to catch up.

Cindy smiled, but gave Max a look that she wasn't expecting. It seemed something had changed in her old friend. OC looked more mature than she had been the last time Max had seen her. "Girl, Original Cindy don't do that no more, clubbin' it. I got myself a real down-ass female."

Max eyed her with her head cocked and a grin. "Really?"

OC nodded proudly, but didn't say much otherwise. She actually seemed a bit reserved about the whole thing. "We're exclusive," Cindy told her.

"Wow!" Max said, nodding her head and still smiling. "Well good for you!"

OC laughed lightly. She then gave Max a look, one of her old devilish stares that she used to give Max whenever she was trying to hook her up. "So, what about _your_ mens lately? Who you been gettin' ya monkey on wit?"

Max laughed. She'd missed Cindy's ghetto fabulous attitude just as much as her company. "Girl, me and my monkey, that's _our_ business!" Max joked.

OC gave her a doubting stare.

"Okay!" Max admitted, "Come on, like I'd keep anything from you?" She paused for a moment to think. "Actually...I've been really busy..." she trailed off slowly, swallowing her words as their meaning struck her.

"Max!" OC said, staring at her dumbfounded.

"What?" Max asked her, not understanding what had suddenly changed OC's happy attitude to one of concern and disbelief.

"You're tellin' me that you ain't done _nothin'_… in _three years_?!!"

Max accepted her words with difficulty. She found herself feeling far more empty than she thought could possibly be. The truth was, she'd never really thought about it until having the words get to her like that, right there in the open. She felt them like a stab in her heart. _Have I really been alone for 3 years?_, she wondered, afraid to acknowledge the truth in the statement. Self-pity was not a feeling she was used to, or one that she would accept. She didn't want to dwell on the fact that her friend had thrust in her face. But it was true. She'd really been busy at Terminal City. She swallowed, realizing she had literally put her life on hold for the past 3 years.

"Well…when you put it that way…" Max began.

"I'm sorry, Boo," Cindy said, giving Max another hug. She of course understood why. She knew Max. Sometimes, in spite of everything, Cindy was still naïve when it came to really understanding the sacrifices Max had made. _No one should have to make those sacrifices_, Cindy thought, tears forming again in her eyes, _especially not my girl Max_. But Cindy wouldn't cry in front of Max over this. She might mistake them to be tears of pity, when they wouldn't be at all. They were tears of admiration and disdain for a world so cruel that in order for Max's friends to live a decent life, she had to put her own aside.

Max found that emotion was busting to come out, again in the form of tears. This time, however, she wanted to cry not out of happiness but sadness. Max held it in, though. Even though her friend's words had helped to point out that Max had a lot of emptiness to let go of, Max knew it wasn't the time or the place.

Max released the 2nd hug, and took a moment to stare her friend in the eyes. _Wow,_ Max thought, _she really has found responsibility somewhere along the way._

"So!" Max began, breaking the silence that had fallen over them, "Where to- Crash?" she guessed.

OC nodded, "Boo, you know it! It'll be good for me, too. I haven't been there in a while."

Max grinned, trying to put on the face of someone that was genuinely happy. The truth was, at Cindy's statement, Max realized just how alone she'd become being the sole leader of her city. It made her want to run and find solace somewhere, in something. But Max wasn't sure what it was that would offer her what she really needed at the moment. Besides, her life had been on hold for so long. What was a few more days of putting off whatever it was that _she_ wanted for herself? Right now, Cindy really needed for Max to be happy and hang out like old times, so that was what Max would do. Call it habit of pushing away any selfish or self-centered thought for the past three years, but Max just felt more comfortable to go with the flow for the time being and continue to ignore what she really wanted, despite the growth that had happened to her. She was no longer one to just run away from her life and problems. But she just felt that now wasn't the time. She was sure it would come later. She just hoped she wouldn't have to put it off too much longer, otherwise she might never realize whatever it was that her heart was longing for now that she was free to just live.

Chapter 1

Max stared around the room in wonder. "Some things never change…" she mumbled, taking in the site of her favorite hangout in more peaceful times. Max laughed inside at her thoughts. _Well, they never were exactly peaceful,_ she thought with a grin, _but it was easier back then_. She recalled days when she thought her biggest problem was whether or not she'd get a tip from her package. _But then right over my shoulder there was either Lydecker, or some other loser hell bent on tracking me down and either putting me back in a cage to be their obedient little soldier, or picking me apart to serve their own ends_.

"Boo! What are you gettin?" OC brought Max back to reality.

Max looked up. "A beer is fine," she said simply. She wished that she could focus more on her friend instead of wasting time dwelling on the past. _Funny_, she thought to herself, _I'm finally free to do anything my heart desires and all I can do is think about Manticore_. She couldn't help having a saddened look come over her as she accepted her drink and allowed her thoughts to continue. She'd only just now left her transgenic friends, and all she wanted was to see the ones that were still out there.

OC held one hand on her hip. "Boo, I know you been gone a long time and all, but I'm still ya sista. And I _still_ know when somethin' ain't right witchu. So why don't you just save us both a lot of time and questions, and tell a Sista what's up."

Max shrugged and sipped her beer. A deep grin spread across her face. "I haven't had one of these in a while!" she told her friend.

OC rolled her eyes. "Whatever, Boo. You keep it in there, but I've got ya back when ya down to talk to me."

Max tried to smile at her. _Cindy did always know when something was bugging me_, she remembered. _I gotta open up a little._

"So, I've had the world on my shoulders for a long time now," Max tried to explain.

"Yea," OC encouraged her to continue, and knowing all too well the truth of that statement.

"Only the thing is…now that it's gone, what's in its place?"

"This," Cindy answered, clashing their glasses together ceremoniously.

"I thought that was Sketchy's thing!" Max teased her friend, finally feeling a bit more comfortable, though still just as troubled.

OC looked at her patiently. "Max," she began, "You are one down-ass female. Just cuz you ain't kickin' some revved up asses doesn't mean you don't still…kick ass!"

Max smiled but was clearly still not convinced. "So how come I finally can leave Terminal City and my transgenics, but for some reason, that's what I feel like I need right now?"

"Terminal City?" OC asked, trying to understand.

"No," Max explained, "I mean…my family. I haven't seen any of them. Even the ones that visited occasionally to help me out- I was always in leader mode. I feel like I haven't seen my brothers and sisters in so long."

OC nodded to show her understanding. "Max, you haven't seen _anyone_ in a long time. How 'bout you have a good time today, forget about this family stuff until tomorrow."

Max smiled and decided it was for the best. She felt guilty for not being able to just have a good time with her friend.

"Sounds good," Max offered. "I guess that means I should chill out and just kick it with my homegirl, huh?" she added with an honest grin.

"Speak of the devil!" OC said with a nod in the direction of the door.

Max held her breath inside out of excitement and anxiousness. Was one of her siblings at the door?

As Max turned to look, she was pleasantly surprised, but also disappointed that it wasn't her family. She tried to stiffen her disappointment and just allowed herself to give a nod as a faraway greeting for the person who'd just walked in.

Max couldn't help but smile at the sight of her old friend. He still had that lovable goofy look on his face and his skater clothes. He didn't look too much older or changed. Max was glad to see that she would know exactly what to expect from him.

Max tossed OC an accusing stare with a grin. "Did you plan this?" she asked.

OC shrugged. "Well I'm not the only one wantin' to see how ya doin!"

"Max!" Sketchy said, throwing his arms around her automatically for a hug.

Max returned it kindly, taking in that there actually was a slight change in her old friend. "Have you been workin' out?" she asked him with a grin.

Sketchy nodded appreciatively. "Well, without you to save my butt all the time, I had to improve my defenses,"

Max laughed. "Oh, so you didn't think to just change your behavior and avoid bad situations altogether?" She gave him an accusatory, but still friendly, stare.

Sketchy left one arm around her. "Now, Max. What would be the fun in that? Don't worry though. I learned a few things from the Master. I'm actually pretty good at avoiding trouble."

Max eyed him. "Really?" she questioned him. "And who might this 'Master' be?" She noticed he did carry himself with a bit more charisma than she remembered, or really ever imagined. Not that he was Prince Charming, but he seemed more confident in his skills with females. She wondered if he'd managed to hold a relationship down for more than she remembered.

Max enjoyed seeing the slight changes in Sketchy. She'd always known he had it in him and ought to have more belief in himself. Not that she was into him like that, but he looked like he really could score a few great women in a more long term sense than 'boy toy'.

Sketchy moved his arm finally to order a drink. "Beer please!" he said, tossing the money on the counter. He turned to face Max again, "Damn, Max. I've missed seeing you! I had to get by with a photo. My girlfriend thought I was some creepy stalker since I didn't have one of you and me."

Max laughed. "Oh, so you _aren't_ a creepy stalker?"

"Max!" Sketchy said in protest.

"I'm kidding," she admitted. "But you can't be serious. You carried around a picture of me?"

"It ain't even like that!" OC told her. "This boy had it in his locker, along with his other pinups. Be glad, Max, you were the most clothed one. He just tryin' to act like he missed you more than me. But we both know that ain't right."

Max laughed. "Oh, Okay. Listen, I want to meet this girlfriend of yours sometime, Sketch. Is she coming?"

Sketchy nodded before taking another swig of his beer. "Yea, you two definitely have to meet! I keep telling her about my cool friends, only I haven't seen any of them in a long time!"

Max wondered what other friends of his he hadn't seen in a while. For her, there were too many to count.

OC slapped Sketchy lightly, "And what about me?"

He grinned affectionately, "Of course, you two ladies are my number 1 girls."

"Women!" OC corrected him, showing her attitude.

"Women," Sketchy accepted. He finished his beer and then realized he still needed to give Max the photograph he had mentioned.

"Well, I guess I'll give it back to you," he said reluctantly, pulling it out of his pocket, though still out of her view.

"What is it?" Max asked, curious.

"The picture!" Sketchy reminded her. "I was meaning to give it to you, but I kept forgetting, and then that whole siege thing happened."

Max nodded, remembering the time when their place of employment was under attack. "Hey, did they rebuild that place?" she asked suddenly, noticing Sketchy still had his messenger I.D. around his neck.

"You better believe it!" Cindy said, shaking her head, "Lord knows why! I thought we shoulda taken that as a sign."

"You work there still?" Max asked.

OC held a disgusted face but nodded. "Damn, girl, I can't believe it, but I do! Of course, now we all get nice things like insurance."

"Cool," Max said, amazed that they worked there still.

"And with the whole under attack thing, they finally fixed the ladies room!" Cindy said with a laugh.

Max returned it as she finished her beer. "Haha! Nice! It's about damn time, huh?"

"Here," Sketchy said, handing Max the picture finally.

Max stared at the photo and gasped. She felt a strange emotion come over her as she realized she held an attachment to it herself. Staring at herself standing there with him was surprisingly only reinforcing the lonely feeling that just wouldn't seem to leave her even as she sat in the company of old friends.

"Alec," Sketchy said, seemingly out of nowhere.

"What?" Max asked him, looking up worriedly. Of course, he was the one who'd given her the photo. He obviously knew it was one of Max and Alec. She remembered the day he'd taken it. They were both working at JamPony and discussing Sketchy's other profession as a photographer for a local tabloid.

_"This is not good!" Max said to Alec, a worried look in her eyes. _

"No, no, I'm as worried about exposure as you are," he admitted, though he didn't look quite as concerned.

Max threw him a doubtful look. "I'd believe that if you covered your barcode better, Monty Cora."

Alec shrugged off her comment. "Look, I seriously doubt White and his, uh, merry band of transgenic hunters get their tips from the New World Weekly. I mean, besides, this is Sketchy we're talking about. What are the chances he stumbles across an actual Manticore alum that's stupid enough to let him snap a shot?"

Before Max could reply, Sketchy's voice interrupted their conversation. "Hey, guys," he greeted. As soon as they turned their attention toward him, he snapped a picture of them with his new camera and then kept going.

Alec gave a shocked look as Max eyed him. "You were saying?"

"That's who taught me a thing or two about watching your own back, Alec. He recommended I work out, too, and what can I say, the man has a point!" Sketchy said, smiling proudly. Max felt a sting in Sketchy's words that hit her more than he could know or intended to. She felt that in spite of trying desperately to help all her fellow transgenics she'd somehow managed to abandon Alec. Sure, he was independent enough to fend for himself, but she now knew all too well that being self-reliant to the point where you shut everyone else out only makes you hurt more inside. At least with her own life, they were _her_ choices. He wasn't really given one in the matter.

OC rolled her eyes, "Shorty, quit trippin' over how strong you are. Those things ain't _that_ big, but ya head sho is!"

Sketchy nodded, in apparent agreement and also slight disappointment. "I know! There's only so much muscle my feeble body can handle. Alec says I'm at maximum capacity. Only way to go up from here is with some medicinal assistance."

"He said what?!" Max asked. "You are kidding me, forget it, Sketch! Tell me you didn't listen to that idiot!" She'd always been a hardass on Alec. She knew it, but it was just easier that way. _I guess old habits die hard_, she criticized herself, knowing that whether or not Alec coerced Sketchy into taking drugs was the least of her thoughts concerning the guy. She really wondered when Sketchy had seen him last. The way he talked, it was as if it was only yesterday. But she felt she knew the answer. _He talks about me that way, too_, she knew, even after not seeing each other for so long.

"What? Geez, Max. He didn't recommend it. He was just stating a fact, telling me my limitations. Wow, do they look that big?" He added, grinning proudly at his 'massive' arms, though they really weren't that massive.

OC again rolled her eyes. "Just finish that beer, would ya? I don't think Max wants to talk about ya muscle any more! Am I right, Boo?"

Max tried to stop thinking of Alec and focus enough to answer OC. She knew that Alec hadn't recommended that Sketchy use something like steroids. She had seen him become more responsible and caring than she thought possible. When they'd first met, he'd come across as nothing more than a cocky, self-serving opportunistic showoff.

But by the time she'd seen him last, they both were more open. Alec turned out to be someone she could really count on, even when she didn't want or seem to believe it. She felt her mind calling her to remember the last time she'd seen Alec, but she didn't want to continue thinking of him at the moment. She pocketed the photo and resigned to deal with it later, maybe when Sketchy and OC were at work or something.

"As impressive as they are," Max began, "I think I'd rather take you on in pool! What do you say?"

Sketchy grinned before having a less than thrilled look settle upon his face. "Waaait. Are you gonna do that thing where you calculate and measure angles and all that?"

Max shrugged innocently. "What thing? I don't know what you're talkin' about! I'm just out to play a game of pool. Buuuut if you're too afraid to take me on, that's fine. I'm sure one of these guys here will."

As she turned away from him, he tapped her shoulder. "Now, wait, Max! I didn't say that!" he said.

"Suddenly up for the challenge?" Max asked him.

"You're on!" he accepted, knowing full well he was more than likely going to lose.

"Now this, I gotta see!" OC said, following the two of them to the pool table.

* * *

a/n: Thanks so much for reading this! let me know what you think of the start. If you can't tell, this will be a very Max-centric fic. 

next chapter will focus more on Alec and give some clues as to when Max last saw him...


	2. Chapter 2

**authors note: **thank you for reading this, and I'm always open for your thoughts- even if they are flames, as long as they have a point.

Ok, to clear something up _Yes_ Alec is in this fic! For the time being, his presence is shown in thoughts and memories, but Yes he's in this, this is an MA fic! (I said MA hinted because at least for the start, they aren't together in literal terms)

It's going to eventually show a more mature Max _and _a more mature Alec meeting up later in life after a good amount of time spent apart.

I hope that clears it up! If it didn't, hopefully by the end of this chapter the full situation will be much clearer.

-Doos

**

* * *

**

Chapter 2

Max felt relaxed as she slumped into the familiar chair in the familiar place. It was completely abandoned. In a way she was glad. She would rather that no one was here so she could imagine whoever she wanted inhabiting the place. Or…so she could remember the times she'd spent here.

She let out a sigh realizing just how empty it was. _How long has it been?_, she tried to recall. Her mind was sharper than most. She knew exactly when it was that she'd been here last. But that wasn't what was bothering her. It was realizing when _he_'d been here last.

She was strong and independent. She didn't _need_ to see him. But she wanted to. Now that she could finally go after what she wanted, she knew. It was Alec.

_He looked at her like she was crazy. "Max… you can't be serious!"_

_She stood firmly, her full lips tighter than usual. "You heard me," she said, standing by her decision._

_"Max!" he said, his hazel eyes showing true concern. "It's suicide! I'm not gonna stand by and watch you do this!"_

_Max turned away from his stare. A single tear fell from her large brown eyes. She wouldn't face him as it fell. Once it had trailed down her soft skin and fallen to the cold earth she turned around again. "I have to do this, Alec. Don't you see? I don't have any other choice."_

_Alec shook his head. "Please! You're shutting me out. You know, if you want Logan and the rest to still believe that we are seeing each other, you might want to at least listen to what I think about things."_

_She smiled knowingly. There it was. His usual sarcastic nature. Even in serious conversations, it couldn't help but slip out. It was who he was. "Alec," she said, reaching out her hand to grab onto his._

_He withdrew from the gesture. "Listen, there's no way you are gonna get me to agree to this," he insisted._

_Max frowned. She didn't want to argue with him. Not now. "Look, I'm in charge here if you didn't notice, and regardless of what you say, I'm going to do this. I'm not asking you to help."_

"_No, you're just asking me to let you kill yourself."_

_Max swallowed. She knew it was a risky plan, but like she'd told him, there was no other choice. Unfortunately for every transgenic, White had succeeded in finding a way to eliminate every single one of them. They were like sitting ducks, all conveniently located in the same area. If someone didn't do something, they all would die. _And who better than the leader of Terminal City_, she thought to herself._

_The plan was simple. Max was going to set up a meeting with White, with a promise of him getting his son back. In exchange, he would give up the location where his team was releasing the gas. Meanwhile, Alec would be listening the whole time since Max would be holding a communication device and earpiece. Even if Max wouldn't be able to escape from White after the exchange, he would still be able to save the transgenics._

"_Why can't _I_ meet with White?" Alec asked her._

_Max stared at him, shocked. She knew he cared…but this? She had noticed a change in him as she depended on him more, but she wasn't expecting this intense of a reaction from him at the news of her plan. He was offering to go in her place…why?_

"_Alec," she argued, "I'm the only one White would meet with. Logan and I are the only ones who know where his son is. We are the only ones he would meet with about this."_

"_So let Logan go!" Alec suggested, even though he didn't really like that plan either._

"_Logan would be overtaken easily. At least this way, I have a _chance_ of getting out," Max reasoned._

"_You don't have to play hero," Alec replied._

"_And neither do you. I can do this."_

_Alec for once was speechless. This time, it was he that turned away for a moment. When he finally turned back to face her, he stared into her eyes as serious as she'd ever seen him. It was unnerving. "Maxie…" he said in a deep voice as intense as his stare, "I'll do this. But that's it. After this, if we both make it out okay, I'm leaving Terminal City."_

_Max couldn't hold back the surprise at his words. "Why would you leave?" she asked. "Why now?" If he had been planning on just leaving, why hadn't he done it before?_

"_Well, it's like you said, Maxie," he informed her, "I don't really have any other choice."_

Max hadn't understood what he meant when he had said that to her before. But she had a guess. It was pretty clear in the way he had looked at her that day, and in the days leading up to that moment. Alec wasn't one to get attached to people. It used to be his job to only have relationships as a means to use them for what he could.

Max had an idea, but she wanted to hear it from him. She still didn't quite understand. How could he not have had another choice?

Of course, asking him was going to be difficult since she didn't have a clue where he was. She sighed. _What am I going to do?_, she asked herself. _Maybe he said goodbye to Sketchy_, she hoped.

Sitting in his old apartment without him didn't feel right at all. He must have been gone for… "2 years now," she guessed out loud. It was that long ago that she'd last seen him. Probably more, really. He had his own office at Terminal City. She doubted he came here much after the formation of the "freak nation".

Max took out the picture that Sketchy had given her to look at it once more. "Who would've thought that I actually ended up missing your smart-ass?" she asked jokingly. They both looked so much more innocent in the photo. _Lots of things have happened since the day Sketchy took this,_ she realized, remembering.

_Max stumbled through the gates, tears streaming down her face. She looked around, happier than she could have ever imagined in spite of her pain. They were alive. They were all there. It had worked._

"_We did it!" she choked out before collapsing in the dirt._

_Alec immediately came to her side. He wasn't nearly so banged up. Of course, his task didn't involve trying to escape from a group of familiars, including White who wanted them all dead. "Max!" he said, holding her in his arms. His eyes were full of panic and worry._

_Max smiled, surprised at the comfort she felt just at his touch. "Good job," she told him. "You came through after all!"_

_Alec smiled, seeing that she was well enough to still joke around. "Don't be so surprised, Maxie," he told her. He pulled out a rag and started to clean her wounds gently and almost affectionately. "Well, my girlfriend is hurt, I see. I better take care of you then, huh?"_

_Max immediately felt guilt come over her yet again at the situation that she had yet to resolve. "Listen, I'm gonna tell Logan tonight."_

"_Better tell Logan tomorrow," Alec interrupted. "After you've had a chance to rest and recover. We're transgenics, but we're not invincible." It was like he was reminding himself of that just as much as her._

"_No, really," Max continued. "I know you don't like it, and well, neither do I. I can't do this anymore."_

_Alec called to another transgenic. "Listen, see that Max gets to the infirmary. Make sure she gets the proper treatment."_

"_Where are you going?" Max blurted as he gently released her from his comforting hold._

"_To buy you some flowers for when I come visit you," he joked._

_She knew that couldn't be what he was doing. "Alec," she said, a strain heard in her voice. She knew he was right, that she needed her rest, but she wanted to know what was going on._

"_No worries, Maxie," he said with his usual smirk back in place, "I won't forget our date later. After you've had a nap."_

"_I don't sleep!" she said forcefully, feeling a horrible pain in her side as she used more energy to express her anger._

Max stood up to leave. It was obvious he wasn't here, and he hadn't been in quite some time. Staying here would do nothing.

_Maybe I should just forget about Alec,_ she considered. But the empty feeling that wouldn't go away told her otherwise. For whatever reason, she wanted to see him again. _If anything, to kick his ass for leaving_, she thought jokingly inside her head.

But deep down she wasn't upset that he had just taken off. It wasn't so out of the blue, really. He had told her ahead of time. And like he'd said, he didn't have a choice.

She turned to take one last look at the old apartment that she had, like old times, taken the liberty of letting herself into. She remembered the last time she'd seen Alec here.

"_Alec, what are you doing here?" she asked him angrily._

"_What does it look like, Maxie? I'm enjoying a beer in the company of my own home," he drawled, as sarcastic as ever. He took a big gulp of his beer as he finished. He then held one up to offer it to Max, as if she would consider accepting at a time like this._

"_Can't you enjoy a beer in Terminal City?" she shot back at him._

"_Well, I think if I did, I would have to record it on the daily inventory, wouldn't I? And then I'd have to explain myself to you. Something I shouldn't have to do about something as simple as a beer. Which is why I'm done talking about this. You really ought to take some time to kick back, Max."_

"_And wouldn't it be nice if I could!" she spat at him. "But unfortunately, I'm trying to protect other people, you know, care about something other than myself? Of course, you wouldn't know anything about that, would you?"_

_Alec mocked being hurt by her opinion of him, but still drank up his beer. "Maxie! Now why would you say that about me? I've helped you out, haven't I? So what, I felt like skipping your little town meeting for once. I'll be there next time."_

_Max frowned at him. "Now is not the time to relax, Alec!"_

"_Then when is? With you, there's always something else. I think I've earned just relaxing for once."_

"_Well, if you came to the meeting you would already know this! But I guess since you were too preoccupied with your beer here, I'll have to just fill you in on the way back to Terminal City."_

"_What?" he asked._

"_Come on, let's go," she said, physically lifting him from his chair and onto his feet._

"_Woah, wait," he argued, backing away from her. "Who said anything about going back to Terminal City? I'll be there tomorrow, like I said. I'd like to sleep in a bed tonight as opposed to falling asleep over paperwork at a desk. Not all of us have shark DNA, Max. Some of us actually do need a decent night's sleep once in a while."_

"_Is that why you came here, Alec? For cheap beer and a nap?"_

"_Hey, this isn't cheap. And if you must know, I promised Sketch that I'd help him out with something. And seeing as it's now 11pm, I thought I'd just kick it back for what little time is left of the evening."_

_Max grew even more upset knowing the real reason he had come here. She only was so worked up because she wanted to see Sketchy herself. And Original Cindy…heck even Normal would be nice to see for once. She hadn't seen anyone in a while. She really was wrapped up in her work. She had been angry that because of Alec, she had to step away from her duties at Terminal City, just to find him and bring him back._

I've really been asking a lot of him lately_, she realized. She hadn't considered before that he was missing everyone just as much as she was. Or that he was also making difficult sacrifices._

_Alec was shocked that Max was actually not fighting him. He wondered if he'd said something wrong._

_Max turned to the door to leave. "The meeting tomorrow is at noon. Something big is coming up, Alec. I need your help," she admitted._

_Alec finally put down his beer. "Well, all right. Tell me about it on the way back." He turned to grab his coat._

"_That's okay," Max said, surprising him as well as herself. "I'll just fill you in tomorrow." She actually smiled at him genuinely. "Don't drink it all so fast. You want it to last the evening, right?"_

"_Do you want to join me?" he asked her. This time, though, it wasn't teasing like before. It seemed he really wanted her company._

_Max bit her lip. Part of her did want to stay. But she couldn't allow herself to do that when people needed her. "I'll see you tomorrow," was all that she said before opening the door and leaving._

Max shut the door behind her, and tried to do that to her memories, as well. She didn't know at the moment how to contact Alec anyway, and besides, there were other people that she needed to see first.

* * *

a/n: Thanks so much for reading! I would love to hear what you think of this one so far. 

here's a heads up: next chapter deals with Max paying more attention to her instincts; plus, you're probably wondering what's up with Logan. Don't worry, it's still very MA! But it will help ease some confusion (hopefully:D)


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Max crept into her old apartment, hoping not to wake Cindy as she did. It was late and Cindy probably was in the middle of a deep sleep, so the chances were good that Max wouldn't disturb her sleeping friend.

Max slumped onto the floor, crouching with her arms around her knees and her back to the wall. _Great_, she thought, _everyone's busy sleeping_. She had shark DNA and so didn't sleep that often.

She thought of what she would do in this situation in the past. _Head to Alec's_, she reasoned, where she'd just been. Only instead of leaving feeling like something was missing, she would probably still be over there, threatening to kick his transgenic ass.

Thoughts of Alec's ass only made Max feel like more of an idiot for just sitting crumpled on the floor in a dark apartment. _Well, where the hell am I supposed to go?_, she thought. The situation was deepening her feelings that she just didn't belong here. Where was her place, anyway? She knew it wasn't in Terminal City anymore, but here she was reduced to the company of a floor since she wasn't exactly human.

"Boo?" a sleepy Cindy quietly spoke into the night. She rubbed her eyes to try and enhance her vision in spite of the darkness.

Max stood up and made a half smile. She felt bad for waking her up. "Dang, girl, you never were _that_ sensitive when I used to live here!" she joked.

"Well," Cindy said with a tired smile, "Guess my 'lickety chick' has made a more sensitive Original Cindy."

"Ha, ha," Max returned.

"What you doin' here?" Cindy asked her.

"Well, you said…" Max trailed. Cindy had told her earlier that she could crash here. _But I really must be bothering her,_ Max figured. "It's cool, I can go….somewhere else," Max said more confidently than she really felt.

"Girl, you are more than welcome here," Cindy told her, "But I know my Boo. And I ain't never known my girl Max to sit all alone on the floor cuz she ain't tired! Go for a ride or somethin! I know there's _somethin'_ you want to do that you haven't yet."

Max laughed, "Well, a ride on my ninja would be nice…if I hadn't sold it a while ago for cash."

"Max!" Cindy said, getting more awake as her surprise increased. "What is a transgenic doin' selling stuff the ligit way for some dough? Now I see no wrong in you going and helpin' yaself to some rich bastard's entertainment money."

"What are you suggesting?" Max said with a grin. She had ditched her cat-burgling days a long time ago, but the idea didn't sound any less exciting to her than it had at any other time. Maybe it was the cat DNA. _Or maybe it's just how fun it is,_ Max thought, her grin deepening. It was true, what else was she going to do while everyone slept, anyway?

"All I know is, I'm sure there's a lonely bike out there for a lonely girl. And you know I'm a matchmaker," Cindy continued. "Not to mention, just because things is better here, they ain't perfect! There's still some nasties out there, so don't go all guilty conscience on me."

Max smiled, "All right! I get the point! Just give me a sec to change my clothes and then you can get back to your beauty sleep!"

"Change?" Cindy said, not sure why Max wasn't fine with what she was wearing.

"Gotta be all in black," Max explained, "You know, my cat burglar suit. The one I wear when I don't want to be seen." She quickly changed her attire to be more suitable for the evening and the fun that lay ahead.

Cindy laughed before laying her head back down. "Whatever you need, Boo! I wanna ride on ya new bike tomorrow night. I neva got to roll on the old one."

"You got it!" Max promised her as she grabbed a bag and headed out the door.

**--------**

Max eyed an easy access point into the museum without any real effort or consideration. It really was like riding a bike. She couldn't deny the rush of pleasure and excitement that she felt. This was something she felt like she really needed. Going into something completely off a whim, without time to really plan it out.

The owner was a real piece of work, according to news reports. While she was focused on Terminal City, she did take time to read the papers, and she knew this was a perfectly acceptable bad guy to take advantage of.

Not to mention, Eyes Only had called the owner out for several scandalous and illegal activities involving the exploitation of many innocent people. Even when Max was busy, she couldn't help but pay attention to those cable hacks. If anything, just to enjoy knowing the good that Logan was still doing.

_Max looked at the new arrival in shock. It wasn't often that a trangenic came in who actually knew Joshua, and well. He'd been their caregiver, sure, but not many had expressed an actual relationship with him that Max knew of._

_"Say that again," she asked the transgenic before her. Part of her wanting him to repeat himself was due to the fact that she was surprised to find someone like this. But another part was because it was literally hard to focus. There were tons of people yelling and making other random noises in the background. Terminal City wasn't exactly the local library._

_"I said that I came to see Joshua. We were friends at Manticore. I heard he was staying here, in this 'Terminal City'."_

_Before Max could ask anything else, her attention was completely taken by the television in the corner of her office. She immediately unmuted it to listen in._

_A pair of familiar icy blue eyes lingered on the screen for a moment longer before they were overshadowed with incriminating pictures of an apparently corrupt museum owner._

_All background noise stopped instantly. They weren't all paying attention. Most didn't even care, really. But they had come to expect this sort of reaction from Max whenever these cable hacks came on. Those who knew the story understood. Those who didn't know the story didn't really care, but they still followed suit with the rest of the room in giving her the peace and quiet to listen and focus on the broadcast._

_The transgenic who knew Joshua seemed surprised to her sudden ignoring of their conversation, but remained silent and tried to figure out why this broadcast was so important. He was taken with curiosity by the others' reactions as well, and decided it was best to go along with everyone for the moment._

_His deep voice hit her hard. She paid attention to the words, but it was the voice that kept her from turning away. She grinned, knowing that he was doing just fine it seemed, and still set on helping the forlorn and fighting the Big Bad._

_She couldn't help but focus so much on the broadcasts. She smiled, remembering a time when she couldn't care less about his little cable hacks. Of course, that was before she'd gotten to know the man at all._

_But now, she did know him. And she was happy to see that he was still predictably trying to do the right thing._

_"Sorry," she said, turning back to the transgenic. "You were saying?"_

_The transgenic looked around, surprised again that immediately the place was loud and busy once again._

It hurt sometimes, when she thought of it. She didn't like when she made a mistake. She knew she should have found the courage to tell him before Alec left. But somehow the sight of Alec had helped her to hold on to the easier way out.

When Alec was gone, not only did it make her lie appear obvious, but it stood as an example. Alec had finally taken real action in agreement with what he felt was right. She knew she had to as well.

_"Logan, we need to talk," she said abruptly._

_He stroked her hand gently through the rubber gloves that separated their human touch. The connection was interrupted as the rubber stuck to her skin briefly before continuing. The latex served as a looming reminder of their impossible situation. It also reminded her of the reason why she'd lied to him in the first place._

_Even though he believed that she and Alec were together, it didn't stop him from expressing how he felt about her. He knew his place, of course, and never tried to push her, but he had his ways of showing her that he still was very much in love with her._

_His action that was meant to comfort her only made her more tense as it brought their reality to the surface. "What is it?" he finally acknowledged. She'd already done her worst to him, dumping him for Alec, someone he could hardly compete with. What more bad news did she have to share with him?_

_"Listen, about me and Alec," she began, not really sure how to say it._

_Logan roughly pulled his hand out of hers ."You're pregnant, aren't you?" he guessed. It was the only thing she could say to him that would hurt him even more._

_Max stared at him, shocked at his wrong assumption. "No!" she denied with enough force that he knew she was telling him the truth. "Listen, we were never together, Logan. We faked the whole thing. Well, mostly, I did. Alec just…let me," she finished. _He didn't want to let me_, she thought to herself. _I didn't even bother asking him.

_Logan didn't say anything to her. She didn't like his silent reaction._

_"Logan, do you understand what I'm saying?" she asked him, wanting some clarification. "I was never with Alec, even for a second."_

_"Define _with_," Logan finally said._

_"What do you mean?"_

_"You're telling me I just imagined everything between the two of you? It was all in my paranoid, self-conscious head?" he continued._

_"I'm telling you we faked it," she tried to explain._

_"No, Max," Logan disagreed. "There was a connection there. There _is_ a connection there. You know I'm not the jealous type. I didn't just create that on my own."_

_"You were seeing something that wasn't there!" she argued._

_Logan again was silent._

_"Why aren't you saying more? Is that all you can say to me?" She didn't realize his entire reaction would only be about Alec and how she felt about him. It wasn't even about Alec. It was about keeping Logan safe. At least, that's what she thought it was about before she'd confessed the truth to him. Now he was just confusing her._

_"What were you expecting?" Logan asked her. "Me to tell you how relieved I am that you manipulated me, and Alec in the process? How happy I am to know that you are capable of not only lying to my face but continuing to make a mockery out of me every time I came by Terminal City when you were with your "boyfriend"?"_

_Max softened her eyes and gave him a sad look. "I know it was wrong, okay. That's why it's taken me so long to tell you. Because I don't like admitting when I'm wrong."_

_Logan clapped his hands that were still covered in gloves in mock appreciation. "Bravo, Max! Thank you so much for coming clean and admitting that you're not perfect."_

_"I never said that I was!" she protested in her own defense. She didn't want to fight him, though. She wanted him to understand. "I did this to keep you safe," she tried to explain, "So you wouldn't be hit with the virus and die!"_

_"That wasn't your decision to make!" he argued. "It's my life!"_

_Max rolled her eyes. There was no use in explaining herself. She'd had this discussion with him before. She used the same line, hoping maybe it would hit home this time. "So you just get to die, while I'm stuck here to live with it? Knowing that I killed the man that I love? I don't think so."_

The wind blowing in Max's face brought her focus and attention back to the heist she was about to make. She couldn't wait to get her ninja back. _Well, maybe not _my _ninja, _she thought, _but at least a good one to get from here to there._

She smiled inwardly, remembering how attached she was to her old bike. She hadn't been willing to settle for any other way to get around other than _her_ ninja. Even if it meant risking getting caught by the police.

_And then I ended up selling it off_, she thought, remembering the day she parted with it. But like all other attachments she'd come to hold onto, she was forced to watch it fade away. At least that one had been her own choice.

_Listen to me!_, she thought to herself. _I act like it was a person!_ "Well, it _was_ my baby!" she joked aloud of her old ride.

She didn't want to dwell on her lost attachments to people or her old familiar surroundings any further. The night wasn't going to last forever, and if she was going to make this successful, she would definitely need to focus.

She noted with her enhanced vision a clear path from the building she was currently on top of that would take her inside through the roof. Getting to the rooftop would be no problem, she noticed, calculating the distance and knowing her own limitations. She would be able to use the rope she brought with her to get across.

She hurled it into the air and threw it with strength and precision so that the hooked end landed right where she wanted it to. She tugged at the rope just in case to check if it was secure, as if she really needed to double check her work. She knew it was done exactly right.

Following her instincts, as well as Manticore given cat reflexes, she walked across naturally and with grace. She reveled in the windy darkness surrounding her as she planted her feet delicately in all the right spots so not to lose her balance. It made it more difficult with the wind, throwing another factor in to calculate with the rest, but it also helped to make it more of a challenge. Max felt her competitive spirit come through as she landed on the other side with a smile. "Works every time," she commented without thinking as she pulled in her rope.

Max eyed the object of her desire through the window on top of the rope. _I can fence that for a few thou_, she thought happily, helping to increase her motivation for the task at hand.

She spotted the cameras and other security measures easily. It was all instinct for her, as well as habit. _Could they be any more predictable?_, she thought, slightly disappointed that this was going to be so easy.

She tugged at the black snow cap that was on top of her head before crouching to make her move.

* * *

a/n: Thanks for reading! let me know if you enjoyed this or not, and if you like how this is unfolding.

okay, next chapter is going to involve Max finally caving in and following what she wants. But where does she begin?


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Max shook her head with a smile at the fact that she was standing here. _Who woulda thought?_ she couldn't help thinking. _Damn, girl was right, _she commented inside her head, noting the positive changes that she noticed just on the outside. _This place really does look better_.

It had been 2 days, one black market sale, and one purchase since her successful heist at the museum.

"Max!" Cindy said with a smile. She noticed the brand new Ninja Max was comfortably perched upon and nodded in approval. "Nice, girl. I knew you wouldn't go without one for too long!"

Max smiled. "So… need a ride home from work?" she joked.

"Oh, for the love of Mike!" Normal said as he stepped outside.

"How's it kickin', Normal?" Max asked him, pulling off her shades. He looked just the same as ever, clipboard in hand, mic attached to his head, and an annoyed look fixed on his face.

"Well, look who it is!" he said, sarcasm clearly heard. "Queen of the Universe finally decided to grace us with her presence, eh, Pumpkin?"

Max rolled her eyes. "I've been tryin' to make the world a better place. Figured that means I oughtta grace it with my presence," she joked.

"Oh! How lovely! You still have that charming and delightful attitude, don't you, Missy?"

Max only shrugged.

"Now that sounds like something my Golden Boy would say," Normal admitted. "Why isn't he coming here, too?"

Max tried not to show how much the thought of Alec was affecting her. She didn't want to think about him right then. "How should I know?" she snapped. "It's not like I'm his baby-sitter." A part of her felt disappointment though, at Normal's question. It meant Alec hadn't been around in a while. It really was going to be difficult finding him. _If I really want to see him again_, Max thought.

"Max!" Sketchy said with a huge grin. "See, Normal? I told you we'd be seeing her sometime soon. By the way, sweet ride, Max!"

Max smiled in appreciation. "Glad you dig it. So," she turned to Cindy, "About that ride?"

"Wait!" Normal said, to her surprise. "How's the baby?"

Max smiled genuinely at Normal. _How sweet! He really cares, doesn't he?_ "Baby's just fine," she informed him. "Not such a baby anymore, either. Girl's got quite a mouth on her these days!"

Normal almost blushed. It wasn't often that he admitted to caring about something other than delivering packages and George H. W. Bush!

"Actually, my girl is pickin' me up today," Cindy admitted.

"Oh, really?" Max said with a curious smile. She wanted to meet her. But she didn't really feel like it right then.

"I'll take a ride!" Sketchy piped in.

"You still have packages to deliver," Normal reminded him, getting back to work mode. "Come on, Bip bip!"

Max revved the engine on her Ninja. "Well, guess that means I gotta blaze! I'll catch you guys later!"

"Crash tonight?" Sketchy asked, looking hopeful even when Normal tossed a package to him that hit Sketchy on the head since he was distracted by looking at Max.

"Sorry," Max said, putting her shades back on. "Got somethin' else in mind. Later!"

With that, she sped off to find her own informant net.

----------

_This can't be right,_ she thought, looking at the address in front of her and noticing that it did in fact match the one that her Internet search at the library had given her. "No way!" she said aloud in disbelief.

She was standing before what appeared to be an exclusive club, but for what, she didn't have the slightest clue. It didn't look like a social one, so much as some sort of cult gathering place.

_Ugh.._, she felt a tingling go down her spine as she thought of the word "cult". Not exactly something she wanted a reminder of.

She took a deep breath, considering turning back and heading home. _Wherever that is_. She swallowed as she realized that she was ready for this, no matter what the outcome. It wouldn't be too weird…hopefully.

She had barely finished her light knock on the large wooden door when a small metal sheet was pushed aside from the other side, revealing the eyes of some sort of apparent body guard that was standing there.

She also noticed with her enhanced hearing a security camera zooming in on her. _Do they have something to hide?_, she wondered.

"Friend or foe?" the 'doorman' greeted her with a question.

"What the hell is this?" she asked bluntly. "Some medieval gathering place? Where's my knight in shining armor? You know, I might buy the whole old times vibe if it wasn't for the camera you have aimed at my face."

The guy seemed shocked by her rude reply. But since he wasn't quick enough with a remark, she only continued. "Look, I'll save you the trouble of the background check. I'm here to see the owner of this place."

"Friend or foe?" he repeated, unsure of what else to say.

She rolled her eyes. "Friend," she replied. "An old one."

The tiny metal sheet slid quickly to a close, blocking her view of anything else. She sighed, annoyed with this entrance ritual. It was completely unnecessary and frankly a bit weird. _What would cause him to become so paranoid about his safety?_, she wondered. _I mean, a freakin' doorman?_

She faced the camera head on and gave a huge full-toothed smile before blowing it a kiss. _That ought to get his attention_, she thought with amusement.

It seemed the gesture, or something else, worked, as the huge door slowly opened.

--------

Max had entered what appeared to be home base for some military course of action. The sights sent shivers down her spine, as she had flashbacks of her own training back at Manticore from when she was only a child. _Why the hell would he decorate the place like this?_ she wondered. She'd seen his cable hacks, assuming that meant he was doing just fine. Had he taken 'underground' journalist a little too seriously?

"Max," a familiar voice greeted her from behind.

She spun around so that her eyes met his. She smiled instinctively at the sight of him. She felt the urge to reach out and hug him, like she'd greeted her other friends, but as her gaze fell upon his bare hands, she remembered to keep her distance.

She backed up a step without thought. "That's right," she said, "That virus bitch is still flowing through me as far as I know."

"Not on your 'to do' list, huh?" Logan asked her, a hurt look in his eyes despite the fact that he'd clearly moved on with his life, Max noticed, as she looked at the wedding band around his finger.

"The list is gone," Max told him. "I decided to roll it up and burn it into a nice pile of ashes," she joked.

"So, you're free, then," he replied, a pleased look on his face. "It's what you've always wanted, right?"

Max stared around the room as she answered him. "I guess, isn't it what everyone wants? I mean, even when I was 9, it wasn't _my _plan, but I guess I've been fighting for it ever since. I may as well enjoy it, right?"

"How _is_ Zack?" Logan asked her, surprising both of them with the mention of her brother.

"Wouldn't you know that better than me?" Max asked him, taking the time to look him in the eye again. "I mean, it was _your _informant."

Logan looked away, as if in thought. "I've tried to put Manticore behind me, Max."

"You and I both," Max told him. She had come with a purpose, but she didn't quite feel ready to tell him about it just yet. She was still trying to process the man he'd become in her absence.

"So, nice digs," she commented, clearly joking. "What made you go all stony barracks?"

Logan smiled at her familiar attitude. "It's not my home," he told her.

"Then why is it listed as Logan Cale's address in the yellow pages?"

"It's the S1-W," he explained. "Their headquarters. I bought the place for them. I come here enough, though, I may as well live here. Anyway, this is safer than being listed under my real home, for both of us."

"_Us?_" Max asked him, figuring he was referring to whoever had given him the ring wrapped around his finger.

"Asha and I," he told her.

Max nodded. She had expected it, of course, but it didn't lessen the effect at all by knowing it ahead of time.

"And our daughter," Logan continued.

Max hadn't been expecting _that_. She tried not to take it personal. _Well, damn, it's _not _personal_, she tried to fight her hurt feelings. _We were over. We've _been _over. This had nothing to do with me._ "So…" Max tried to break the awkward silence that had befallen the room. "Do I get to meet her? Or does she have your specific gene sequence?" she joked.

"She's out with her mom right now," Logan told her, "But if you're not planning on disappearing for another 3 years, maybe you can see her tomorrow."

Max surprised both of them by holding back her usual smart response. With Logan, she only seemed to be able to reply with newfound patience and regard for the man. Something about the way she knew they'd hurt each other and were clearly better off apart gave her only warm feelings about what once was and what would be for both their futures. Clearly, he'd found his way to happiness. She was optimistic about whatever hers had in it, whether her own version included a daughter or not.

"I think I can manage to drop in sometime before you start to lose your hair," she joked with a warm smile. They shared a moment of genuine happiness and understanding in silence before Max remembered again to mention the reason she'd come in the first place. Although now she was glad that she'd come if only to confirm the man she knew he'd become, she still had the matter that had brought her to his strange wooden doors.

"So there's this person that I want to track down," she began, giving him a knowing smile, "And the word is that you da man for all things missing persons!"

"Is that so?" he returned with a grin. "Wherever did you hear that? I'm just a humble father. Can't you tell by my digs?"

Max laughed before becoming more serious. "Really, Logan. You still have your connections, right? Or are you too busy changing diapers now?" She didn't say it condescendingly, but rather, almost lovingly with a sense of admiration. The image of Logan changing his own flesh and blood's dirty diaper was actually a picture that put a smile on her face. She knew that even as much as he enjoyed being an underground journalist, he would surely find just as much, if not more, happiness in being a dad.

"Hey! I'll have you know that changing those things is far more dangerous than battling White or taking on any corrupt mob bosses!" Logan joked in reply. He then took a breath before really answering her. "Name it, Max. I'll find whoever it is you're looking for."

Max nodded in appreciation but hesitated before saying the name. It wasn't that she wanted to turn back, it was just that telling Logan was somehow like her own confession as to just how much he meant to her. But how could she deny it any more? _Why_ would she, for that matter? She finally had nothing to lose. Who was the one person that she felt her heart calling her to see again, even if only to see that he'd moved on? She wasn't as scared as she had once been. Looking back, she couldn't believe that she had never just allowed herself to see it before.

But there was no changing the past. That was the great thing about it, though. It was the past, and for the first time ever, it wasn't holding her back.

"It's Alec," she admitted to him, her eyes pleading for him to help her. "I haven't seen him in over 2 years. I need to know where he is."

Logan seemed shocked at her confession. He'd probably expected her to only grow closer to Alec once they'd split up. It was true, they had grown closer. But that was exactly the reason why they'd grown apart. The closeness and connection that they shared was something that neither seemed ready to accept at the time.

"Please, Logan." She told him what her eyes already had been.

He looked concerned but nodded to indicate his answer. "No problem," he said, finally allowing himself to smile again. "Do you have a pager or something so I can get in touch? Where are you staying these days, anyway?"

Max smiled. "Yea, Alec's old phone. He gave it to me the day that he left. Something about me needing to get with the rest of civilization."

Logan nodded. "I'll contact you as soon as I find something. In the meantime, you should stay here. You're more than welcome to."

Max had expected Logan to make such an offer. It was in his nature to ever be a gracious host. "Thanks, but it's cool."

"Where are you staying, then?" he asked her.

"...I haven't figured that out yet," she admitted. "But to tell you the truth, I didn't know where I would go. I didn't think I'd be staying in Seattle this long."

"Let me get you a hotel room, just for the night," he offered.

Max eyed him hesitantly. "I don't know..." she trailed, considering it.

"Max, it's the least I can do. There's a relatively quiet place downtown. It's no trouble."

Max smiled. "Well, if you insist!" She knew there was no bother in refusing Logan's hospitality. In fact, it would end up troubling him more if she tried not to accept his generosity.

* * *

**a/n**: thanks again for reading this! sorry for the slightly abrupt chapter end. A little inside info, Alec did not leave simply because Max used him. The reason why he left is not really what is important. It is more so just the fact that he left, but I won't leave you hanging. I will fill you in with the reason he left.

next chapter-- Max's happiness is just around the corner...


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

The dust came over her. Shadowed glimpses of what once was came at her in an onslaught. She tried to shield her mind from the torrential flow of scenes that tugged at her heart. Being pelted with the mistakes she'd had no real choice in making hurt like a mortal wound as she watched what was left of her fragile heart become broken and torn, like her faith in what lay ahead.

She was so dusty. Staying in one place had caused a film to cover her heart in darkness. She was not cold, but she had kept it hidden so long that she no longer knew what warmth was in the matters of the heart. _Help!_ a voice inside her called to be heard, but her habit would not allow it. It was too late, and as the dirt covered her breathing hole, she knew that she was about to fade into nothingness. She gasped as the pain and struggle of dying came over her along with the cloud of dusted darkness…

Max woke up in a sweat, feeling like the air had just been sucked out of her lungs. She spun around quickly to find that she had only been dreaming her life was in danger. _That's right_, she told herself, _There's no one to fight anymore_.

She remembered, then, as the real world came back to her, that she'd accepted Logan's offer to rent her a room for the night so she could sleep. _But I wasn't even tired_, she recalled. At least, not physically. Her mind was a different matter, though, as well as her heart. She hadn't been able to truly let her mind be at ease probably ever. It felt good to rest from thinking of everything.

But it seemed that even in her sleep, her troubles found her. She couldn't escape what was haunting her mind.

"Alec," she said out loud, feeling the name in her heart as much as with her hearing.

She pulled out his phone. She should have gotten a new one a while ago, but she couldn't bear to part with it. Silly, really, she knew it. Somehow she'd managed to part with her baby, her Ninja, but getting rid of the only thing that remained of Alec proved too much. _If only you'd given me a way to contact _you_, you idiot!_

The last few days had really helped her to find true clarity. She wondered why it had taken her so long to see. But of course, she knew the answer. She'd been too busy and living in denial. Now it all seemed so obvious. It had been clear to Logan, even.

_I guess it's true what they say,_ she thought sadly. _You don't know what you've got 'til it's gone_.

Interrupting her thoughts was the vibrating of her phone. It startled her at first, since she hadn't received a call in a long time. As she stared at the contact number, she grinned anxiously, recognizing who it was.

"Hello?" she answered.

"_Hey there."_

"Hey, yourself! What's up?"

"_So, this priest walks into a bar and says…_" he began.

"Hey!" Max protested with a grin. "I thought that was my line!"

"_That is _not _what the priest said, Max_," Logan replied.

"Logan," Max said simply, her voice indicating for him to get serious.

"_Okay, sorry. That isn't why I called._"

"I figured," Max replied, calling him to continue.

"_I have some information for you_."

Max felt her temperature rise as she realized just how anxious she really was for this news. "What did you find?"

"_It took some serious digging,_" Logan told her. "_I didn't find out anything about his current lifestyle."_

Max was silent as she waited for more.

"_What I'm saying is, I don't know if he's changed," _Logan tried to offer a warning. After a pause, he continued . "_But I did find his location."_

Max took in a deep breath in anticipation. If he'd changed, she could only expect it to be for the better. Unless of course that change meant that he no longer held onto any attachments for her.

Max swallowed before pleading for him to continue. "Where is he?" she asked in a quiet voice.

"_He's staying in Sector Nine_," Logan informed her.

Max took the news with a mix of confusion, happiness, and hurt. "He's been that close all this time?" she blurted into the phone as she processed his location and what that meant.

It hurt to know that Alec had been just a short motorbike ride away and had never bothered contacting her. It wouldn't have been any trouble whatsoever for him to see her. Even if he had some bland 9 – 5 job, he could have easily dropped in to say hi. The ride was maybe an hour, an hour and a half.

Max swallowed the emotions that the news had brought on, an action that she was all too familiar with. She tried not to show that the news hadn't been as pleasing to hear as she had first anticipated. "Are you sure?" she asked him after her brief pause to collect herself.

"_I'm positive. A close informant has witnessed him on several occasions. The last one dated 3 days ago."_

Max couldn't help gasping into the phone as she heard the information. "Three days ago…" she repeated as she trailed off in thought. The emotions that came with the thought of seeing Alec face to face intensified as she realized that he was easier to find than she'd first expected. _Well what were you expecting?_, she asked herself. _That he'd head for the hills and never look back?_

Max bit her lip in hesitation as she contradicted herself. _But he didn't look back…_, she thought sadly, again noting how easy it would have been for him to contact her all this time. And yet, he hadn't.

Max had to wonder why he never tried. Even though she hadn't gone looking for him until now, she couldn't compare herself. He'd known her location, she had never kept that a secret. But he hadn't given her a choice in the matter. All this time, he'd been practically next door. But to Max, he may as well have been in Timbuktu. It was all the same since she was never informed of his whereabouts.

She remembered how sad she'd been upon first realizing that Alec had vanished from Terminal City. He hadn't even bothered giving her a final goodbye. The action had truly hurt Max for a while.

Until she considered that given the same situation, she would've gone about it just as he had. She had contemplated leaving Seattle herself a few times. And she knew the truth- she wouldn't have told anyone goodbye. At the time, she looked at it as a sacrifice, that it would be easier for everyone that way. But now, she knew that was just an excuse. Really, it was easier for _her_ not to deal with facing her pain head-on. And maybe Alec knew that as well. _Maybe he knew that leaving without forcing me to deal with it face-to-face would be easier. Not for him, but for me_.

Max again considered her initial assumption that Alec had been avoiding her because he didn't _want _to see her again. Because he was enjoying a life without her.

She contemplated the lengths Alec would go to in an attempt to avoid her ever finding him again. But then she recalled Alec's early reputation as 'Monty Cora', an amused grin spreading across her face. _Pretty Boy never really was one to 'lay it low'_. It had taken White capturing him and Max's nagging to get him to start caring about keeping his bar-code hidden.

A thin smile remained on Max's face as she decided. Even if he was really avoiding her all this time, she still needed to see him. And she felt ready to face whatever consequences that would bring.

"_I have a number for you, too,_" Logan continued, bringing her attention back to the conversation at hand. He paused before continuing. "_If you want it._"

Max couldn't help hesitating again as the moment of truth drew nearer. With this, she could contact him far sooner than she first anticipated. The realization brought her usual defensive nature to the surface as she again questioned Alec's true intentions in ignoring her presence when he was so close. She knew that she was jumping to unfair conclusions, but she couldn't fight her own nature. In her mind, she tried to push away the walls that had been firmly in place ever since she'd escaped Manticore. Maybe there was a good reason why he hadn't bothered to speak to her all this time.

Max indicated for Logan to continue after the pause. "Of course I want it," she replied softly into the receiver. _Whether or not I bother using it I can decide later_, she concluded to herself. For now, she didn't want to close any doors.

As she heard the numbered digits, she knew she wouldn't need to write them down. Remembering various data sequences was easy for her, even when she didn't care. With this 7-digit sequence, she was sure that she wouldn't forget the number later.

"Thanks, Logan," she replied gratefully in a soft voice.

"_Call him, Max_," Logan replied encouragingly. She hadn't expected such a reaction. He continued to try and soothe some of the confusion and hesitation she was feeling right then. "_Max, if there's anything I've learned, it's that you can't live with regret."_

Max couldn't help thinking that he was referring not to her situation with Alec, but a similar one with each other. "Logan…" she trailed in a tone that asked him to stop, for his own sake as much as hers. This wasn't a conversation Max wanted to have at this point, and it certainly didn't seem fit to discuss over the phone.

"_I'm serious, Max,_" he continued in a lower voice. As she heard his breath increase, she knew that he really meant what he was about to say. "_Just please, go after what you want in your heart. Chase it until you can't run anymore."_

"Logan," Max repeated, her voice stronger.

"_I don't regret it, Max,_" he told her in a soft voice of his own. "_Not a single minute of it._"

Max swallowed as uncertainty settled over her. "You're with Asha, now, Logan," she told him, not knowing what to say otherwise. "You love her." The words hit home with herself just as much as she was hoping they would upon him. "And I…" she trailed as the truth became trapped in her throat. So some of her walls still remained.

Memories of herself and a man flashed in her head, dancing in her mind.

First, they were sharing a cell together at Manticore. They were breeding partners. He seemed pleased enough as he eyed her before taking off his shirt to get it over with. He smirked as she stared in confusion at him before disregarding his advances literally by kicking him aside. He was nothing but a smart-ass…

Her life was in his hands, and he was going to take it. Fear spread across her mind as she was left only to shake atop the earth, waiting for him to do it. _"I don't want to die, Max!_" he confessed to her before he realized his weakness. He made his choice by falling to the dirt and placing his life into _her _hands…

She couldn't believe what she was seeing as she watched him enter Jam Pony. Anger and annoyance raged through her as she stomped up to him. He enraged her with his smirk as he enjoyed the show of emotions that only resulted from the sight of him. He was such a smart-ass…!

His pained face questioned her as she slammed his hand into the locker, her unique way of gaining his attention. She didn't ask him for his help but expected it as she dragged him to help her find her brother. He was of some help, given the right motivation…

She scanned the room, her eyes narrowing in between the random changes of colors that the numerous lights were making as they reflected upon the walls, in perfect match with the pounding beat. Her eyes rolled as she finally found him. He pulled her into his lap and did his usual smart-ass routine as he suggested she work on her cover. She started petting him absentmindedly as she looked for the transgenic in danger. When her anger at his comments intensified, she pulled his face toward hers and watched as his startled stare drifted from her eyes to her lips…

They scanned the place, working together, as they tried to find their target. They could be a team when a mutual ally was in danger…

He held the poetry just out of her reach as she struggled and jabbed at him in order to retrieve it. He just smiled in amusement at her predictable behavior. He hardly had to do anything to get a rise out of her. She punched him lightly in her simple victory as a grin spread across her face…

She stared at the screen, mourning yet another loss, and he interrupted the moment with his typical smart-ass grin and comments. And as she wrote him off as an insensitive jackass, he came through with something insightful to make her second-guess him. It almost scared her to know that he was the one person who understood what she felt in that moment…

She knew something was troubling him. She didn't like seeing him without his token smart-ass grin. He was feeling pain, and she wanted to help. She reached out a comforting hand that he didn't accept. This was something he needed to deal with on his own, a ghost of his past…

She was trapped in a dark closet with only Alec as company. She'd asked him to come, since it was a two man job, and he'd teased her a bit before giving in. She was embarrassed to admit to him her reason for needing some fast cash when he guessed it himself. He knew her more than she realized….

Max stared at his face as the truth hit her. She'd been seeing Ben each time she looked at him. She finally took in who he really was, this man before her, Alec. She grabbed his hand as they escaped together…

She knew he was right in his advice. She stared at him in her kitchen and asked him not to rub it in. Instead, he did just the opposite and offered her a shoulder to lean on and an listening ear.

She realized her inability to separate his face from her own guilt. She cried as he held her and told her he was sorry for all the pain she was still living with. He comforted her with a gentle kiss atop her head as she sobbed in his arms. He was just what she needed then. He was truly her best friend…

They stood together around Joshua, comforting their mutual friend for the loss of someone he loved…

He stood beside her as their city came together. They were the leaders together. Max placed her faith in him and their unbeatable team. He gave her a proud smile as the flag was raised…

He let out his frustration that she was placing herself in danger, an expression of the care he'd come to have for her. But he went along with it anyway, since he knew it was what she wanted…

He held her in his arms as she laid upon the dirty ground. She could feel the devotion in the way he held her. He didn't want to let go. If he could, he would hold her forever…

Each memory was only an instant, but each tugged at her heart, and as they danced in her mind, she saw the truth.

"I love Alec," she confessed into the receiver. She didn't notice the tears falling from her eyes until she tasted them as they slid onto her lips.

"_That's all I needed to hear_," Logan gasped into the phone. He paused before continuing. "_I don't have any regrets. I followed my heart without looking back. I thought that would lead me to you._" Logan's voice became strong again as he finished. "_But in falling for you, Max, I met an amazing person. A woman that I have grown to love and will continue to love as we share a family together._"

Max laughed out of happiness and relief that they were letting everything out. It was better this way, anyway. If they were in person for this moment, Max didn't think she would have the strength to refrain from making some sort of comforting gesture. Which would have ended fatally, since the virus was still coursing through her veins. "That's great, Logan," Max told him sincerely. She was absolutely beaming since there was nothing remaining to hold her back.

"_And I only wish the same for you, Max,_" Logan told her warmly. "_I've always wanted you to be happy, above all else. Even when other…_stuff_…got in the way._"

Max laughed again, and this time she noticed. It felt so good to find happiness in something so simple as this conversation. She hadn't allowed herself to be happy for far too long, knowing that it was also a weakness, a distraction from whatever the mission of the day was. "Thanks, Logan," she said for the 2nd time, "for everything."

"_So!_" Logan continued in a lighter tone. He then let out a laugh himself before continuing. "_Well, Asha heard you were in town, and she'd love to have you over for dinner._"

"Who's cooking?" Max asked with one brow raised in curiosity. "I haven't had one of the Logan Cale Specialties in a while!"

"_Asha's quite the chef herself!_" Logan boasted. "_So, whenever you're done reuniting with 'Pretty Boy', bring him over_."

Max pictured the dinner at Logan's that could come to be with a heavy grin. "You're on,"she replied. _As long as Alec still will have me. _She kept the thought of self-doubt to herself.

"_Well, great!_" Logan replied. Max could just picture the look on his face right then and it made her smile again. "_You could always stop by beforehand, too, you know. If you're not ready…_" he trailed. Logan knew Max well enough to know that questioning her wasn't the best way to go about letting her know that he'd always be there for her.

"Don't worry, Logan," she replied. "As long as we aren't eating at the barracks, I think I'll be just fine!"

"_Hey, now! I think it has a homey feel to it!_" Logan mock defended the S1W headquarters.

"Sure you do!" Max continued to joke with him. "Well, I guess I better get to it, then."

"_Yeah…"_ Logan agreed. "_Call me when you get the chance._"

"I will," Max promised before ending the call.

* * *

**a/n**: thanks again for reading! drop me a review to let me know whacha think! Thanks to **timetowaste247**, **purplebunnywabbit**, **StealerOfDreams**, and **simpleangel** for your thoughts from the last update, and sorry that I took some time to get this next chapter up! 


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Max couldn't recall a time when she'd been more patient while waiting in line for gasoline. She actually enjoyed the experience today, of getting a view of the city like this.

Even though things were looking up for the economy, it was somehow comforting to know that there were some things that take longer to change. Waiting for gasoline wasn't as big a pain in the ass as she remembered.

She smiled as she glanced at the familiar sightings around her. Even the jerk at the front of the line who was making a fuss over having to wait didn't shake the calm feeling holding her. She only rolled her eyes and let out a quiet laugh at the predictable situation and reaction. _People are so impatient_, she noted to herself.

She herself had waited long enough. A few more minutes waiting in line for some fuel only helped bring her more comfort for the upcoming situation. It also gave her a chance to take one more look at her last memories of Alec.

_Max opened her eyes slowly. The first thing she noticed was just how bright the lighting of the room was as it attacked her eyes. She quickly moved a hand to shade herself, only to notice a thick bandage on her forearm._

"_What…" she wondered out loud as she tried to figure out where she was and what was happening._

"_Max!" came a relieved voice from the corner of the room._

_That was when Max noticed her location. She was in some sort of medical facility…_The infirmary_, she realized, before her attempts to figure out what was going on were interrupted again by the person who greeted her._

"_Max!" the woman said as she rushed over the Max's bedside. "I am so glad you're awake!"_

_Max coughed once as another feeling, unfortunately, came back to her. Pain shot through her arm, and her head ached like an anvil had been dropped on her. She strained to remember what had happened._

The plan. With White.

_For a moment, she saw Alec's troubled hazel eyes staring back at her as she recalled the last thing that she'd seen before passing out._

"_How long have I been out?" she asked, suddenly worried as she came to her senses. She was the leader of Terminal City and couldn't afford to be out of commission for too long._

"_Two days," the transgenic medic answered with a smile. "And don't worry! The city has been fine!" she added._

_Max made a half grin. She definitely had a reputation. "No slander campaigns or attacks while I was recovering?" she asked, half joking and half serious._

_The woman shook her head while still smiling. "Alec's been looking after the place," she informed Max._

_Max nodded as she processed the information. As she thought of Alec, his unique and appealing scent came to her. She took a moment to enjoy it before she realized it was surrounding her._

"_I take it the city isn't the only thing he's been looking after…" Max trailed. His lingering scent could only mean that he'd just been there. She couldn't help smiling at the realization. It somehow served to bring her comfort knowing that he was, as always, looking out for her._

_The female transgenic nodded. "He's been in and out a lot, actually, considering that you really haven't been here long."_

_Max nodded with a distant look showing in her eyes as she remembered what he'd last said to her. "So, where are the flowers?" she joked._

_The woman motioned toward a small vase with lilacs that was resting on the counter. "You knew?" she asked._

"_He kind of told me he was going to send them," Max admitted with a smile. "But I really was hoping to have a delivery in person…" _I was?_ Max deepened her smile as she considered it more. _Sure, I was. And I really do want to see him.

_The transgenic nodded. "Well, that's fine. Just make sure there's no physical contact! I don't need another situation on my hands!"_

_Max could tell as she studied the trangenic's face that it was meant as a joke, but she felt like it must have gone over her head, because she didn't understand. "Um, what do you mean?" she asked her._

"_Well, the virus," she answered matter-of-factly._

"_The virus?" Max repeated with a confused look._

"_Logan," the medic reminded her. "He sent the flowers. Didn't you say you were expecting them?"_

_Max's lips parted in surprise before she recovered with a tight smile. "Of course," she replied, brushing it off like she had been talking about Logan the whole time._

_Max suddenly felt silly for expecting Alec to send flowers. She had known when he'd said it that he was just joking around._

_Still. She wasn't expecting the emotional blow to find that her assumptions weren't true. Flowers from Alec would have been a nice reminder, again, that he had her back and was thinking of her. Flowers from Logan were a reminder that she still needed to come clean to him about Alec._

_Max shook away the initial feelings of disappointment. What did it matter if Alec had brought her flowers or not? He'd come to visit her while she was resting. His lingering scent was proof enough of that._

_A knock on the other side of the door brought Max's thoughts to her current situation._

"_Looks like you've got a visitor!" the medic said. "Perfect timing! You're definitely well enough for that. In fact, I think you'll be ready for release by this afternoon!"_

"_Great!" Max said, emphasizing more happiness than she was actually feeling._

_She didn't notice her heart skip a beat in anticipation as the knob turned. She couldn't turn her stare away from the door as she pictured Alec on the other side._

"_Hey!" her visitor greeted, almost beaming as he saw that she was awake._

_Max swallowed before responding. "Hey, yourself," she returned._

"_So I guess I picked a good day to come by," he commented. "It's good to see you looking so well."_

_Max nodded. "Thanks, Logan."_

_As she paid attention to his next words and conversation, she tried to push away her disappointment that Alec wasn't the first person to meet her eyes upon waking up._

_She pushed all thoughts of Alec to a distant corner of her mind to keep tightly locked away there until she saw him again._

_--------------------------------------------------_

"_We can't just sit around any more waiting for something good to happen to us!" Max shouted to them all. She was standing in the center of the room, addressing the transgenics the best way she knew how, by holding a meeting._

"_We need to start demanding our rights!" she continued. "I for one am sick and tired of hiding in here like some kind of sub-species."_

"_What about White?" Mole, ever the optimist, brought up._

"_He's still around," Max answered. "But his plan is ruined. He's been exposed. And he failed his familiars. It's only a matter of time before-"_

"_It's _always_ a matter of time!" Mole complained. "You don't want to sit around and wait, honey? If that's true, why the hell haven't we taken this guy out?"_

"_Because we're not like him!" Max insisted aggressively._

_The silent response was deafening. Not because it was a bad sign. On the contrary, the lack of an argument meant that, at least for the time being, no one was going to question her and that they were in agreement._

_But there was a familiar and usual response missing today._

_Max put the rest of her speech on hold for a moment and instead took a second to scan the room._

"_Where is Alec?" she asked with a roll of her eyes. So now that she was back to full capacity, he was back to skipping out on his responsibilities?_

_She frowned and continued to glance around the room as she started to get angry._

"_Where is Alec?" she repeated with more force. Usually, he had a thing or two to say. Not that she _needed _him to back her up, but the lacking support from him today seemed strange. She didn't feel like continuing without knowing where he was._

"_Hello?!" she shouted as she gave up on scanning the room and instead focused her eyes on those present._

"_No one knows where Alec is?" she asked, her voice tight as concern came over her that she veiled with anger._

"_We haven't seen him since yesterday, when we found out you were better," someone told Max._

_As soon as the transgenic finished his sentence, Max ran to the door and ripped it open. She paused for a moment, standing in the doorway while gripping the handle to hold the door in place._

_She then abruptly turned back around and faced everyone. They were all staring at her, studying her to figure out what was going on. "This meeting's adjourned," she blurted before exiting the room._

_-------------------------------------_

"_Alec!" Max called in a fury as she kicked the door to his office open, ripping the hinges out of their places. She didn't care what smart-ass comment he'd probably throw at her about knocking._

_Max glanced around the room, assessing everything. It didn't take long at all, her being a transgenic and the room being so small._

_As she took in how empty it was, she found herself feeling more upset._

_Max glared as she fought the urge to punch her fist through the table. Alec was definitely getting his ass kicked for disappearing whenever she would manage to find him. _And Pretty Boy better hope it takes me a while!_ she thought as she pictured what she was going to do to him for skipping out on her meeting._

_Max stormed out of the room and used her transgenic speed to get to his apartment as fast as she possibly could._

"_Alec!" she yelled as she moved to break into his apartment. Only as soon as she touched the door, she realized she wouldn't need to. It was unlocked._

_Max wandered around the place, feeling each empty, absent glance with every part of her._

No glasses. No nothing._ His cupboards were empty. She hardly recognized the living room without a TV. Alec had complained about keeping his personal 'boob tube' to a point of such annoyance that she stopped bugging him about donating it to the city._

_Max walked quietly into his bedroom and swallowed as she glanced over the single, worn, bare mattress that remained. _Where are his sheets?

_She moved to his dresser. _Where are his clothes?

_Max leaned against the wall that felt colder than she could ever imagine. She allowed herself to slide to the floor and sat for a moment, gathering her thoughts in the dark, empty room._

"_Alec…" she whispered to no one as the realization hit her._

_He was gone._

_Just like he'd warned her about before. He had told her that if they all made it out okay, he was leaving._

_At the time, Max didn't want him to go. But she didn't fight him on it, either._

_And when he brought it up again, just before her plan went into affect, she'd shrugged him off like she couldn't care less._

"I'm serious, Max," he told her quietly as everyone moved into position. "If we make it, I'm gonna get out of here."

Max rolled her eyes at him. She didn't need to be distracted from the plan right now. Not to mention that it didn't really matter anyway. He was a free man; they all were. That was the whole point. He was allowed to do whatever he wanted.

"Max," he repeated, wondering if she'd even heard him.

"Shut up! I got it!" she snapped at him before focusing again on getting everyone in position.

Alec looked to the ground, a distant look in his hazel eyes that she turned away from. "Will you double-check the positions?" she asked him, her voice softer.

He took a quick glance at her before getting up, as confident as ever. "Sure," he replied with a small grin.

But before he walked away, he reached his hand out to stroke her face gently, an action that surprised her and forced her to return his gaze. "Good luck, Max," he told her as his fingers gently grazed the side of her face.

After the initial shock of his affection wore off, Max allowed a small grin to settle on her face. "I don't need luck," she told him. "I have you."

Alec let out a quiet laugh before letting go. "You don't need me, Max," he told her.

"I mean, all of you," Max corrected herself. "We all have each other. And that's why he's not gonna win." Her face was determined despite the difficulty of the task at hand.

Alec nodded. "I believe in you, Max," he told her before backing away. "We all do," he said as he moved to join the rest of the group.

_Max didn't notice the tears falling down her face until a familiar hand gently wiped them away._

_She looked into the dark eyes staring back at her. "Joshua!" she said with surprise before immediately throwing her arms around him as far as she could._

"_What are you doing here?" she mumbled as she leaned against him and let out her pain._

"_Looking for you," Joshua told her. "Joshua followed Max. Because she needed help." He pulled away to look at her again. "Little Fella okay?"_

_Max let out a quiet laugh as she wiped the rest of her tears away. "Yeah!" she insisted. "I don't know what I'm blubbering about!"_

_Joshua nodded and gave her some space so that she could recollect herself, but he still kept a comforting hand gripped gently over her shoulder._

_Max remembered how warm and comforting it felt when Alec held his hand over the same spot._

"_Alec," he responded simply, as though he was reading her mind._

"_What about Alec?" Max asked in a low voice as she gave him an innocent stare._

"_What Max is blubbering about."_

_Max shrugged. "Yeah," she admitted. "You got me." She stroked his face gently in appreciation simply of who he was. Joshua seemed to understand everything, even sometimes when Max didn't herself._

"_Max feels hurt. That Alec had to blaze..."_

_Max made a half smile. "I guess… I just didn't think he was serious when he said he was leaving. I just… don't get it."_

"_Alec sad, too," Joshua told her._

"_You saw him?" Max blurted, her voice letting on more necessity than she meant it to._

_Joshua nodded. "Alec left. For Max."_

_Max frowned in frustration. His words didn't make sense. Why would Alec leaving somehow benefit her?_

"_Did he tell you that?" Max asked. "That he was leaving for me?"_

_Joshua let out a quiet laugh as his lips curled upward, revealing his sharp teeth. "No. Joshua saw it in Alec's eyes." He continued, "Before Alec told Joshua, 'Bye Big Fella. Take care of Max'."_

_Max suddenly felt just as empty as the room._

"_Let's go," she said abruptly, getting to her feet._

_Joshua stood up, too, and held her hand. "Ready to leave?" he asked her._

_Max nodded, and looked up at him with a face that was much stronger than the one he'd found her with. "See, I have this city to run. Full of transgenics. Terminal City. Ever heard of it?" She flashed him a smile, encouraging him just as much as herself that she was fine._

_Joshua took a moment to process what she'd said before putting on a deep grin again as he nodded in understanding. "Terminal City. Let's go." He finished by repeating her previous words._

_Max breathed in once with her eyes shut as she took in the lingering scent of Alec. She took her time as she wanted to keep it to memory, knowing it would be the last time she would be able to for some time._

"_Yep," she concluded as she opened her eyes to take one final glance at the place. "Gotta blaze!"_

_-----------------------------------_

Max focused on her memory of Alec's scent as she held her eyes shut to make the most of the fading memory.

As she opened her eyes, she again smiled. She really couldn't wait to have that scent surround her again.

She tried not to let her mind run wild with the possibilities that lay ahead. She blamed part of it on her cat DNA, how curious she was.

Despite how lonely her heart had felt for so long, it didn't seem so heavy anymore. Her confession to Logan had only given her more strength and hope in what was to come.

She grinned as the line grew shorter.

She had so many things to smile about these days. Being free from White and watching her city stand on its own. Seeing her friends again. The anticipation of seeing Alec.

But perhaps the best thing about the moment was just how right it felt. She wasn't questioning herself or backing down any more. She was finally ready to go after her happiness.

Max pulled on her shades as she noticed the sun creeping over a cloud and revved her Ninja as she moved forward another spot.**

* * *

**

**a/n**: well, I hope I'm not making you all wait too long! I know, I am evil because Max _still_ hasn't met up with Alec! Well, maybe I can tell you something so you won't give up on me! Next ch- Max and Alec meet again! How about that!

ps. thanks so much for the reviews! I tried to respond, but fanfiction wasn't letting me for all of them, so I will thank you all here. You guys seriously make my day! Thanks to:

**simpleangel- **yes, she is going to show up at his door! (well, not exactly like that, but don't worry, you will see)  
**purplebunnywabbit- **next ch they will finally meet!  
**timetowaste247- **hey thanks. I admit that I really don't like Logan, but I wanted this story to be true to the characters, and that is just how I see him being!  
**Brenny- **well, he was in a memory... next chap. for sure!  
**StealerOfDreams- **thanks for the comment about the dream, I really appreciated that. hmmm... never considered that Alec could be a babyDaddy! lol. thats some of the issues in the next chap, she doesn't know how he is anymore for certain! But I will give you a heads up- he's not a father right now! lol.  
**rocknroll923**- well hopefully I will not disappoint, and the Alec meeting will be amazing! here's to that!  
** src13**- next chap! I promise!  
**MeryKey-7- **lol. more Alec is coming next chapter.

See you all next chap!


	7. Chapter 7

**a/n:** Thank you all for your lovely reviews! I heard you guys loud and clear, so here is the next update! much sooner than the last. But a small warning- its twice as long. But hopefully, it's still worth the read! thanks again.

* * *

**Chapter 7**

Max's hands shook slightly as she dialed the number. She couldn't help being nervous, and standing there right outside of his apartment certainly didn't help to calm her nerves.

She took a deep, steadying breath as the phone rang. Her heart thundered in her ears and she began to panic as she heard the ringing go unanswered once, twice, three times. _Maybe this was a bad idea…_

Suddenly, the fourth ring was cut short. Max's breath caught in her throat as she heard the light 'click' of the phone being answered, along with a short and quiet sigh from Alec on the other end.

"Yeah," his deep voice came through the receiver shortly.

Max recalled that he had always been abrupt on the phone, and her heart leapt at hearing his voice after all this time. It was just like she'd remembered, only perhaps a shade more somber.

Max blinked back a tear and swallowed before giving him a reply. "Hey, stranger," she greeted softly into the phone.

She could practically hear Alec tense. "…Max?"

Instantly, with the sound of his voice and hers having a conversation again, Max felt a surge of anger that she couldn't suppress. "Long time no see… or hear, or write, or call, or pretty much anything else, for that matter," she said accusingly.

"How did you ge - ?"

"And that includes any physical contact, as well. Y'know, like kicking your ass. Which, frankly, sounds pretty good to me right about now."

"Max, you don't understand…" Alec began.

"What's to understand, Alec? You left without a word, and I thought you were long gone. Then I find out that you're right here in Seattle, a stone's throw away, and, what, you decided it was too much of a hassle to keep in touch?"

"Max…"

"Why?"

Alec sighed into the phone. "Whaddaya mean, 'why'?"

"Why did you go? Why didn't you visit, or, or call, or _some_thing? …Why didn't you say good-bye?"

There was a pause on the other end. "Max, don't make me do this. Please."

Max felt strength surge through her as a feeling came over her that she'd been experiencing only in memories lately. She felt the blood race through her body like fire. Suddenly, doing this over the phone just didn't seem good enough. No, this type of familiar arguing with Alec was best done in person.

"Well, I'm sorry to bother your quaint life here after all this time, but if you don't mind, I'm gonna need to finish this conversation in person." His response was only silence. The only sound she received to know he was still there was his quiet breathing as he exhaled. Max continued, "Actually, scratch that. I don't care if you mind or not."

She couldn't believe he wasn't saying anything! It only increased her anger. "Well, this has got to be a first," she began. "You're not living up to your name being all silent like that." She couldn't resist the next corny cliché. "Cat got your tongue?"

Alec cleared his throat as he tried to think of an appropriate response. Max had a lot more than his tongue at her disposal. She had for a long time. "I don't know if that's such a good idea, Max."

Alec's eyes widened in slight surprise as he heard a sudden 'click' followed by a dial tone. "Max?" he asked despite the obvious knowledge that she'd just hung up on him. Alec swallowed as he pocketed his own phone.

His head was spinning. What was she doing, calling him like that after all this time? _And she's mad at me? I told her I was leaving. She knew it was coming… _His thoughts trailed as another question came into his mind. Why had she searched for him? He had tried hard with a good amount of struggle to put his past behind him, and here she was demanding him to face it. But it wasn't just that she wanted him to explain everything and get into it all again. The fact that she was there at all spoke volumes that he couldn't seem to read.

Alec swallowed hard again at the thought of their conversation. _Same old Max. All attitude and heart. _Heart? Was that why she had worked so hard to find him? _No, she called to bitch me out. _Alec swiftly crushed his hopes before they crushed him.

Still, Alec couldn't help but regret how he had brushed her off. _That may have been my last chance to see her, and I blew it! Way to go… _

But wasn't that what he had been trying to do when he left in the first place? Seeing Max destroy herself was just too painful. He had left because he knew Max better than anyone else, maybe even better than she did herself. She had come to a place where her whole life was at a stand-still.

Alec really didn't know what Max wanted in life, or what would truly make her happy, but he could at least see what was standing in the way. Her relationship with Logan was just one of the things that she carelessly left up to Alec. He was her scape-goat, her crutch. Alec knew that she was too strong to need a crutch, holding her back from her full potential, from sorting out her life and being happy.

Max sacrificed herself for everyone else, and she never seemed to care for her own life. The fact that she had died once before, and stared death in the face countless other times, was proof enough of that. But she was an amazing woman. Not only could she carry the pain of the world, but also her own complex pain rested heavily on her strong shoulders.

Alec was more than happy to carry some of that burden for a time, but he knew when enough was enough for that poor woman. He had stopped being a help and had started becoming a hindrance as she put on hold the growth and exploration of her true happiness by laying her personal problems that she didn't want to deal with at his feet.

Alec knew from personal experience that putting off the inevitable would only damage yourself. There was a time in his own life when a situation had become too intense for him to deal with, so he had just blocked it out of his memory. But the thing about problems like that is, they never really disappear. They only build up until they're dealt with, forcing you to grow as a person and change inside.

The truth was, he had left Max because he cared too much, not only because it killed him to stand and watch her hurt herself, but mostly because it was unbearable to be the one thing prolonging her pain by allowing the wounds to sit and fester, growing more and more painful with the passage of time.

And even though the sight and presence of Max, memorizing her every smile and the curves of her body, taking in her intoxicating scent, anticipating her next move while she still managed to surprise him, growing to admire her and her never-ending compassion, and all things Max in general, brought Alec immeasurable joy that could last a lifetime, he couldn't live with himself, knowing that he was holding back the woman he loved.

But now she wanted to see him in person. _But I told her it wasn't a good idea. And she hung up on me… God, she probably hates me now… _

Alec squeezed his eyes shut tightly to block out the pain. Just to have something to do, he fumbled again for his phone to check the caller ID. He looked down and his lips parted in surprise at the number she'd used to call him. _She still has my old cell phone? After all this time, she could have gotten a much better one by now…_

A familiar sound coming from the direction of his door interrupted Alec's thoughts. He froze and stared at the door in apprehension only to discover that nothing was there. Still, the prickling up his spine told him that he wasn't alone. As his eyes scanned the place quickly for any sign of an intruder, a thought came into his mind. It couldn't be…

Alec crossed the room in three quick strides and opened the door before he could change his mind.

He let out a sigh of disappointment when he saw there was nothing there. Alec swallowed his regrets and closed the door. _What did I just do?_, he asked himself. Just hearing Max's voice again was enough to remind him of how attached he was to her. He wondered if she'd even answer the phone if he called her back.

As he turned around with another heavy sigh, the sight before him took his breath away. Alec blinked to make sure it wasn't just his imagination, the angel standing in front of him.

Her large, chocolate eyes had a familiar, solid fury in them, despite the slight shaking of her breaths that she struggled to calm and keep quiet. His hand itched to reach out and touch her, but he held it firmly at his side. He didn't know if she'd let him considering how angry she was. Instead, he felt his lips part as a name escaped them that had been burning in his heart for a long time. Though he'd already spoken it again, this time, as he took in the sight of her, he felt her name with his heart just as much as his ears. "Max," he breathed her name as his eyes searched hers for some hint at what she wanted.

For a moment, the two stood still and only stared into each other's eyes. Both, it seemed, found the moment surreal and took their time processing it.

"What are you doing here?" Alec blurted finally. As soon as he asked, he wanted to take it back. Of all questions burning in his mind, that wasn't exactly where he wanted to start.

Hearing his deep voice and watching his lips move as he spoke brought Max to her senses. She hadn't come here just to stare into his eyes. But he continued to upset her with every second that passed. Finally, he was acknowledging her, and that was his question? Max didn't understand him. _But that's why you came in the first place_, she told herself. _To find some understanding. _

Still, the pain that she was feeling affected her. She had finally come to accept that no one made her feel more vulnerable than the man before her. Although she wanted to see the rest of Alec, she couldn't bring her stare away from his eyes that currently held no longing for her. As she stared into them, they were only letting on confusion and carefully masked emotions.

"Oh," she replied coldly. "So, _now_ you want to ask me a question. I thought you had nothing to say to me." Her stare was cold, a shield for the hurt she was feeling.

This wasn't at all what she'd expected from this moment she'd only dreamt of in her heart. She hadn't planned on acting this way, but the horrible thought that he perhaps didn't care for her anymore, now that she'd finally come to accept her feelings for him, made her put up an aggressive front so that he wouldn't see how much this was hurting her.

Alec accepted her hostility with silence. She had every right, after all, to be upset with him. He had made a decision that obviously affected her more than he first realized. "I'm sorry," he finally offered, his voice low.

Max nodded, finally taking her stare away from his eyes as she took a moment to see him fully. A quiet grin came on her face as she noticed the small details to his maturing. His posture was the same, confident and strong. But he held more hesitation than the last time she'd seen him.

As her eyes wandered over his muscles, she felt a slight burn spread across her cheeks. He had more of a man's build now that she couldn't help appreciating.

His face was still just as handsome as it had always been, but it had a more grown-up look to it. It was more defined in all the right places, chiseled and beautiful. His lips still looked soft as ever, but she wasn't so used to seeing them held shut (a thought that brought an amused grin on her face).

As she found herself getting lost in the sight of his lips, she forced her sights to rise again to his eyes. Even though he had grown ever so slightly, his eyes were exactly as they were the last time she'd seen him, though they held a bit more wear than before. They looked like they held stories and maybe even some wisdom. She stared as the green swirls danced within her view, her grin widening as she noticed the golden twinkle of mischief that still remained.

But the empty stare he was giving her at the moment slightly unnerved her. Although he looked strong as ever, something in his eyes told her his life was missing something.

"Why are you sorry?" she finally broke the silence as her stare turned to glance at his new digs. Her voice was quiet and had lost its accusing tone from earlier.

Alec cleared his throat again, unsure of what to say. "Um," he began before trailing into silence again. He didn't really know what to tell her. As Alec tried to put into words all that he was feeling, his mind was flooded by a torrential downpour of the cruelties life had dealt them, of all the many reasons he had to feel sorry, but all pooling together to form the main reason he felt Max was owed an apology.

He was sorry that they were created in test tubes, that they never knew their parents, that the closest thing to a father Max ever knew spent the majority of his adult life hunting her down like an animal only to disappear when he finally started to help her.

He was sorry that ever since the small age of nine she'd been forced to live in hiding and loneliness because she had no where to belong. He was sorry that somewhere along the way she thought she'd found love only to have her heart broken. He was sorry that the only person she'd ever truly depended on grew complicated feelings for her that she didn't return, making her feel guilty and disgusted with herself.

He was sorry that she'd had to watch her siblings die, that she'd been forced to send one away and had killed another with her own two hands. He was especially sorry that he himself reminded her of the hardest choice she had ever made just by sharing the face of that dead brother.

He was sorry that she, for some reason, had been chosen out of every one of them to bear the cross of the transgenic world and for all the repercussions that came along with that.

But most of all, he was sorry that the only way he could find to help her was to leave her, again to be alone in the world.

How could he possibly express to her all of the things he was sorry for? He wasn't sure she even wanted that kind of an apology right now.

In his mind, he recalled the way things used to be between the two of them. He had never kept his thoughts to himself like this before. Well, except for one truth that he didn't want to add to the load that Max had to carry on her shoulders. His own regard for Max was something he'd never said aloud to her, for a number of reasons. Part of it was because he was just realizing it himself. He knew he'd let on his true feelings in small ways, how he'd help her whenever he could, the stares that he couldn't help but give her, the way he lit up whenever she entered the room. But he knew Max. If he didn't say it to her face, she would sign on to their silent agreement that if they never spoke of it, it didn't need to exist or be dealt with.

As Alec failed again to think of why she had come to see him so out of the blue, he scared himself with another thought. What if he wasn't even that person anymore? Right now, he felt like an empty shell of his former self. All this time that he'd spent trying to let go of Max while still being close enough to help her if the case ever arose had made him too familiar with unhappiness. Alec was a survivor above all else, just like the next human. But he was more than that, he was a transgenic soldier. His instincts even more so than others wouldn't allow him to crumble into a failure if he couldn't fulfill his true desires. He'd made a decision a long time ago to let Max go for the growth of both of them. He would never amount to anything if he held onto something that wasn't meant to be.

There were times when he really saw a future for the two of them, leading Terminal City together until they would find themselves in a world safe enough where they could really be together.

He had told her he was going to leave. It wasn't a test, he meant it. But it did give her an opportunity that she failed to take advantage of. If he was more to her than the easy way out, she could have told him. He would have stayed. But he couldn't remain in that dormant state, it had seemed indefinite. The only way to get past that stagnant point was to leave.

He couldn't tell her his true feelings at the time. It wouldn't have been fair to her. She had dealt with too much, she had more still to move beyond in her life. She didn't need his heart's confession to add to the list.

As Alec stared at Max, he knew that he loved her still. How could he not? She had passed onto him the perfect example of the person he wanted to become. Somehow, in all her insults, degrading thoughts of him, slaps across his face, and rejections to all of his flirtations, she was pushing him. It was her way of putting a challenge on him. Maybe she didn't see it that way, but that was how he took it.

And even though the entire time he brushed her rude behavior off as an indication that she just needed to get laid more often, he had quickly grown to see that it was her high expectations of him that he was failing to meet.

He didn't even try to become a better person. Really, what did a genetically engineered killing machine who'd been successfully trained to be an assassin care about the common good? But as he watched her and began to admire the person that she was, he found himself changing at a rapid rate.

The longer Alec reminded himself of why this woman before him meant so much to him, the more alone he felt. _Why did she come here?_, he asked himself. It was like rubbing into his face what he could never have.

For a fleeting moment, Alec pondered the thought that Max had come because a small part of her _did_ share his feelings. But then he contemplated that even if that was true (which he highly doubted), it wouldn't matter since that 'cocky, self-serving smart-ass' (as she'd called him on so many occasions) no longer existed.

While Alec was lost in thought, Max took the opportunity to glance around at his place. She noticed how neat and in place everything was. As she paid attention to the little details, her senses took in his scent that was now surrounding her as she stood in his apartment. As she closed her eyes to breathe it in, she realized that there was no other to go with it. There was no unfamiliar female scent to the place- it was just Alec. Which only added more confusion as to why he was barely reacting to her. If there was no one else, what other reason could he have to let go?

Max turned to face him again. This time, she looked ready for a fight. Her patience was wearing thin as he continued to be non-responsive. She had practically spent the last week emotionally preparing herself for this moment. Even when she had been in the company of her friends, thoughts of Alec refused to let her be at peace. Even Logan had noticed something 'undeniable' about the pair of them. And now Alec wasn't saying anything, wasn't _doing _anything; he barely seemed to care at all that she was there!

As the silence in the room threatened to drown her, a bad but nagging idea crept into a dark corner of her mind and wouldn't be moved. She knew one sure-fire way to get a reaction out of him, albeit negative. But the more she considered it, the more she realized that anything would be better than the mechanical silence he was offering her.

She moved her face dangerously close to his as she leaned in with a serious look set on her face. "Listen, soldier! I asked you a question!"

"We're not at Manticore!" Alec burst, his voice becoming stronger. What the hell was Max getting at? Had she come for an ally in the 'never-ending good fight'? It was frustrating that she wouldn't answer the persistent question that he couldn't shake: _Why is she here? _"I'm not your Second In Command," he stated in a calmer voice.

Max narrowed her eyes at him. "Thanks for clearing that up, Alec!" she mocked him, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "That's been pretty clear for a long time now." She gave him a look that he couldn't bear to remain silent at. She stared at him in utter disappointment.

"Look, Max, I don't know why you're here or what you want. You don't want me to ask you questions- fine! But I don't know what you want from me!" _Or why you're even here at all_, the thought passed through his mind again, but he didn't want to upset her any more than he apparently already had.

Max couldn't stop a tear from drifting down her face as she looked at him, completely softened. She blinked slowly in an attempt to regain control over her emotions. He'd seen her cry before, the Alec she once knew. But she wouldn't let this man in front of her watch her cry.

She'd come too late. It was just like Logan had warned her. He wasn't the same person anymore. The man she'd fallen in love with had disappeared.

"Max…" he trailed as his instincts finally kicked in. He moved his arm to wrap around her in a comforting gesture.

Max felt a spark of hope course through her as she noticed his instincts come to the surface. But she ripped herself away from his touch. He couldn't do this to her, deny his true self and then only become the person she loved in an act of pity. "Don't you put a finger on me!" she demanded as she glared at him. She held her own finger pointedly at him for effect. "You're not going to try and comfort me now after you left me there completely alone!"

Her accusing words hit him like a venomous bite. The longer she went on, the more he felt the pain of their truth. "I mean, what the hell are you doing here, anyway? It doesn't look like you've done _anything_ with your life! Whereas I've been working my ass off taking care of Terminal City! You know, that place full of all those transgenics who stood beside you while we watched the flag raise _together_!"

Alec interrupted her fury with his own accusations. "You know, you can't say this crap to me! You act like I left you there defenseless. Do you think I could really do that, Max? Just walk away, knowing you weren't gonna be okay? Yeah, I've been a 'stone's throw' away. Why do you think? Because I was just too lazy to keep going? No, Max! I purposely stayed close enough so if you ever needed me, I could be there. You think I abandoned Terminal City? I've been helping that place this whole time!"

The hope that wouldn't be denied continued to gain power as Max realized that he still cared about her. But he still wasn't acting completely like himself. Where was his spirit? She could see it in his eyes, but he continued to keep it at bay otherwise.

There was no one left to fight, it wasn't selfish anymore to accept what you want and go after it. She didn't feel embarrassed about her feelings for him and she was ready to tell him the truth.

But not until he was himself again, no defensive walls in place. Her original idea wasn't sounding so bad after all. Maybe she could push the old Alec to the surface if she pissed him off enough. "Oh, so it's just _me_ that you abandoned," she told him with an icy glare.

"You know, I don't know why I'm even trying to explain this to you," he returned coldly.

"And why is that?" Max asked him, her body still tense.

"You don't want to hear anything I have to say! You came here for one reason."

Max narrowed her glare. It was all or nothing now. She wasn't going to leave until she at least tried her hardest to get through to him. "Well it wouldn't take a rocket-scientist, would it?" she replied sarcastically. Why else would she be there except for Alec? Coming to his apartment could serve no other purpose. Maybe if he contemplated it a bit more, he'd figure it out without her having to say it to him before he was ready to hear it.

"You want to fight," Alec replied.

"Is that so?" Max asked him with an amused smile as her body did tense in preparation. _So, that's how it's gonna be, Pretty Boy?_, she thought to herself, the grin on face deepening. "Fine!" she accepted as she moved into a fighting stance. "It's not like me kicking your ass is gonna be a new feeling for either of us! In fact, you're probably more than familiar with that, right?" She gave him a challenging stare with a grin but didn't move to make an attack.

"So what happened, Maxie?" he asked in a voice more reminiscent of the person he used to be. His eyes shone with their old twinkle as he continued. "Can't play savior anymore to the transgenics so you had to find someone new to fight?" He made a half smirk that taunted Max to wipe it right off his face.

Alec enjoyed watching the hair on her skin raise at his comment. So he still knew how to push her buttons. Finally, he was the one getting silence as an answer. "Or in this case, someone old. I guess old habits die hard."

Max flipped the hair out of her face to get a complete view of her enemy. His own stance was prepared for a strike. "If that's the case," she replied as she found her voice again. "Where's the hoe? I know you must have some paid companion traipsing around here somewhere."

Alec actually laughed at her familiar antics. The comment made him lose some of his nerve. "Thanks, Max. I love your ever high opinion of me. I love how I'm a disgusting, chauvinistic pig half of the time, but when it's convenient for _you_, I'm good enough to be your stand-in boyfriend."

"You know, Alec, I'm not the one switching around back and forth, here," she told him. "My mind is clear. I know why I came here, I know who I am and what I want. You're the one that seems to be confused right now."

"Gee, I wonder why? Could it be that you call me out of the blue after 2 years, break into my apartment, and start throwing accusations at me? But I'm just supposed to be sorry."

"Oh, that's right," Max said with a smile. "Thanks for reminding me. Are you gonna tell me why you're sorry now that you've given it some thought?"

Alec stood glaring at her. The nerve of this woman! "Y'know, Max, you can't just come in here and demand some answers. How the hell did you find me anyways?"

"That's not important right now."

Alec snorted a laugh at her. "Oh, lemme guess. You're gonna tell me what _is _important, right? Am I right? I mean, since you seem to have all the answers here."

"Well, it's pretty clear that _you _don't have any! 'Uhhhm…' Great reason, Alec. Love the latest line of excuses."

"Well, Max, I wouldn't need to feed you these so-called 'excuses' if you hadn't come to my door demanding them! God, it must be nice to be so self-righteous all the time. You take lessons from Logan while I was gone?"

"Yeah, Alec, as a matter of fact, I did! We cured the virus, and then we made up for lost time by making hot, sweet love twice a week!"

At this, Alec could only stare in disbelief. His jaw slackened a bit, and his eyes bulged. For a brief, and thankfully fleeting, moment, Alec automatically pictured the two of them at it before his logical soldier's mind told him it just wasn't plausible.

He caught the look Max was giving him, something reminiscent of victory and a challenge that she was enjoying. As she kept that dangerous look trained on him, an unsettling thought occurred to him. _Has she been trying to bait me this whole time?_ The more he thought about it, the more likely it seemed.

A burning feeling that wasn't quite anger or hurt, but something he couldn't name, surged through him as he decided that Max needed a taste of her own medicine.

"Nah, Maxie. You and I both know that Logan can't turn you on that often. Not to mention, he doesn't have the stamina I do, if you catch my drift," he said rudely with a menacing grin highlighting his features.

Max's smile faltered just for a split-second before she curled her lip disdainfully at his antics.

"Of course, if you're doubting me, we can always test that theory," he added, wiggling his eyebrows at her suggestively.

"Keep giving me that smart-ass grin, Pretty Boy," Max continued to challenge him. "Cuz it's gonna be hard for you to smile once I reacquaint you with your carpet! Not to mention, brush burn's a bitch."

"Well, we could find that out another way," he continued as he flashed her his trademark smirk with another suggesting movement of his eyebrows.

Max tried to contain her happiness that he was finally sounding himself again. Of course, it wasn't difficult with his rude comments. She glared at him and returned with something she'd said to him tons of times. "You ass!"

"Huh. That's the second time you've mentioned my lovely behind. So after all this time, it's _still _my ass you return to."

"Yeah, well at least I return," Max retorted coldly. Regardless of the fact that it was good to see him reacting again, she herself was still hurting over their situation.

Alec flinched at that. Max's remark stung, and she knew it. They stared each other down, neither one backing away, until Alec resorted to his usual tactical defense mechanism. He pulled the smirk back onto his face, and he thought of the meanest thing he could say to her, just to make her decide to leave. It would all be better that way, for both of them.

But looking at Max, clearly hurt by their encounter thus far, the words died on his lips. He hated seeing her like that, angry and hurt, and he knew he couldn't bear to see her face again if it was he who'd caused that pain.

Alec stepped towards Max slowly and cautiously.

She eyed him curiously but her body didn't tense or back away. She remained open for whatever he was about to do.

"You wanted to know why I'm sorry," he began as he searched her eyes for the pleading look to continue.

Max lost the fighter's stance and did give him a look to keep going. "That's right," she encouraged him softly.

Alec breathed one heavy sigh to try and prepare himself before going into his explanation. "I'm sorry that I hurt you when I left. I'm not gonna give you any excuses. I left because I thought it was for the best."

Max tried to digest what he was saying. She'd had a feeling that was why he left. But she still didn't understand why he felt that way. She remained silent so that he would continue.

Alec didn't know what more to say. He didn't feel like he could elaborate any further without hearing something from her first. "Why did you come here?" he asked her again.

Max momentarily looked at the ground before forcing herself to face him as she told him the truth. "I finally woke up, Alec," she told him. "It's been three years since we started that city together. I've been fighting every day, you know. You were there at the start."

His eyes softened and he automatically placed a comforting hand on her shoulder as he prepared both of them for the pain he assumed she was going to discuss.

As Max felt his fingers graze her skin, she felt all of her nerves spark with an intensity she'd been missing. She beamed at their efforts. "There's no one left to fight, Alec. I finally feel like I'm free to….live!"

Alec squeezed her shoulder encouragingly. He found himself smiling with a sincerity that he'd been lacking up until this moment. The realization that she'd finally done it brought him more joy than perhaps she knew. It was what he'd always wanted, for Max to be truly happy.

Max appreciated his warm gesture. It gave her the courage to continue. She smiled proudly at him. "What can I say? We did a hell of a job! I don't need to put anything off anymore."

She reached a hand out to gently stroke the side of his face. His head moved immediately toward her touch and he moved his own hand to gently hold onto her arm as she massaged the side of his face.

As her eyes held his in anticipation, she repeated the words, asking him to make the next move. "We don't need to put anything off anymore, Alec."

* * *

**a/n: **Thanks especially to **christique** who helped me put my thoughts into more accurate and understandable words! If anyone likes watching youtube vids, I recommend one by Christique, Woke up This Morning. The link is on her profile page, if you're interested.

Thanks so much again for all your reviews! They really help motivate me to write! Okay, so this chap was a lil angst and not so much fluff, but that leaves only fluff for the next one! See you then!

-Doos


	8. Chapter 8

**disclaimer/author's note:** this chapter is ridiculous. I mean it, it is completely sugary, almost sickeningly sweet! borderline cheesy. Okay, it's complete fluff. So much that I would title it 'MA fluff-fest' if not for the fact that this has been a serious fic all the way through and I'm not going to kill that in the ending!

Now all of that having been said, I really enjoyed this chapter and I hope all of you do, as well! Even though its fluffy nonsense, I think we pulled it off. That's right, 'we'. This chapter was co-written, hence the looooong delay (so sorry about that, btw, I honestly hate doing that to people!)

so special, and by that I should say _huge _thanks to **Christique** for co-writing this with me so it could be that much better! And I'm gonna shut up now and let you read the ending...

* * *

**Chapter 8**

_We don't have to put anything off anymore…_

Alec felt her words with every part of him, captured by their openness and meaning.

He didn't realize he'd grabbed her toward him until he felt her tiny frame allowing him to guide her closer. Her arms wrapped around him as his held her, their bodies melding into one form.

He felt his breathing synchronize with hers into one rhythmic beat as he closed his eyes and inhaled her scent that was still just as intoxicating as ever. They stood there in each other's arms, unable to speak. _This has to be a dream, _Alec thought. _Max is here, in my apartment, in my _arms! _I must be dreaming…_

But when he opened his eyes cautiously, she was still there. He stifled a sobbing laugh of joy as he held her closer, hazel eyes shining at the ceiling. _I don't know what I did right to deserve this, but I sure as hell am glad I did it!_

Alec looked back down at the gorgeous woman snuggling against his chest, and his heart swelled. His hands moved gently from her waistline, following up the curves of her body, until they caressed her chin, asking her to meet his eyes. His heart had so many things to tell her. Everything burning inside of him shook his mind, tugged at his heart, swirling together into something so powerful, he didn't know where to begin other than breathing her name. "Max," he spoke softly.

Her eyes shone into his with a smile as she gave him a coy grin. "I should have known you wouldn't be able to keep your mouth shut."

Alec laughed lightly, an action that he hadn't had the luxury of doing in such a long time that it took him a moment to recognize the sound as his own. And that was when the realization hit him- the memory of a dream that he once lived.

Everyone searches for happiness. It's what the world wants, when it has the freedom to ask for it. And Alec knew where his lay- in Max. Being with her and making her happy was all that he needed to keep his smile in place forever.

He smirked and shrugged at her. "I can't really help it. It's a thing…" he teased casually.

Max smiled back. "Well I sure did miss you and your _thing_," she admitted to him.

Alec nodded slowly. "I missed you, too." He paused and sighed. "I just…can't believe I had it all wrong," he admitted.

"You always were too sure of yourself," she joked.

"I know," he replied softly, "You always tried to keep me in check."

"Well, for what it's worth, I didn't exactly help you get it right…" she said seriously.

Alec chuckled softly and shook his head at her. "Naw, Max, it wasn't all on you. We were both so young and immature, I doubt if I would've believed it myself."

Her eyes looked distant again, a hint of regret threatening to ruin the innocence of the moment. "Max, what is it?" he asked her.

"I've been doing a lot of thinking about things," she told him. "The past… decisions I've made… people I pushed away." Her eyes met his again. "I didn't ask you to stay."

"Probably 'cuz I'm such a pain in the ass," Alec replied lightly in a teasing voice.

"But I wanted you to stay," she told him, not allowing him to brush off the seriousness or need for her to tell him the truth. "And I never told you. I wasted three years…"

Alec watched as the emotion she'd kept bottled up threatened to burst out all at once. Her eyes fluttered ever so slightly as the guilt and sadness of her life's choices became too much for her.

He quickly pulled her into an embrace again to stop her from feeling any more pain, least of all because of a regret for him.

It didn't matter any more, anyway, now that they were here, together.

The realization in his mind brought him courage and happiness and he found himself wondering why he still hadn't taken her up on her open statement. _We don't have to put anything off anymore…_

Alec reached up and cupped her soft face in his hand. His eyes met hers, and suddenly the world was so simple, so easy. There was nothing to complicate the moment, nothing to ruin it and make either of them run away. It was just Alec and Max, and nothing else mattered. Her warm body in his arms was all that mattered.

Alec felt her silken skin as he brushed her cheek with his thumb gently. "It's okay. I can stay now," he whispered, trying to memorize her face in his first moment of true happiness.

Her gorgeous brown eyes swam with unshed tears of joy threatening to spill at the touch she'd been missing for so long. No, it wasn't a dream anymore.

Alec leaned his head towards her, and the earth spun. Suddenly, the only thing that really existed was his mouth on hers.

The gentle kiss seemed to start a slow-burning fire, and Alec lost himself in the feel of Max's soft lips. He tasted her reverently, as if he wanted each second to make up for one moment they'd been apart. All of the years, all of the months, the long days and the lonely nights- all of it melted away and left the two of them locked in a lovers' embrace.

Max broke away with a small gasp and looked up to stare adoringly into Alec's eyes. "You're really here…" she whispered brokenly as a silent tear slipped down her cheek. Her watery eyes sparkled at him.

Alec's face showed concern, and he wiped the tear away from her face gently. "I didn't realize all these years without practice would make me _that _bad of a kisser," he half-teased cautiously.

Max laughed. "No, its – You're wonderful. It's just… Part of me thought I'd never see you again, and _all _of me's been wanting to kiss you like that for weeks," she admitted.

"Just weeks? I've been wanting to do that from the moment I met you!" he said lightly with a smile.

Max closed her eyes and laughed genuinely. She looked down at the ground and stood silently for a moment, steeling herself for what she would do next. But as she did this, she realized she didn't need to. There was nothing to brace herself for. Alec's kiss melted away any lingering shadows of doubt, if any had even survived her first sight of him earlier.

With renewed strength, Max's brown eyes locked with Alec's hazel ones and she spoke with a quiet strength the words she'd feared he would never hear.

"I love you."

She smiled as she watched Alec's eyes widen and take on a new light, sparkling and dancing in the rays of sunlight pouring through the window. He swallowed a few times, and his lower lip trembled. The broad chest she was still pulled against heaved with deep breaths. His handsome face, for all of its matured manliness gained in his absence, was the very image of a little boy's.

Max let her smile widen at his speechless reaction. It made her love him even more. She broke the full smile only to speak again. "I said, 'I love you', Alec. I think deep down I always have. It just took me a while to see it. …And then it took me even longer to stop fighting it. …And _then_ it took me even longer _still _to admit it to myself out loud."

"You- you mean it? You..?" he trailed in disbelief. _Okay, now it would simply be cruel to have this be a dream, _he thought in a daze. Not even in his best dreams of Max had she ever uttered those sacred words. It probably had something to do with his plan of staying away from her and then something to do with his poor self-esteem when it came to Max, but he simply could never picture her saying that to him. Not ever.

Yet here she was, turning his world and realities upside-down again.

Alec's thoughts were interrupted by Max's laughter. "Of course I mean it. You of all people should know me well enough to know how hard it is for me to say stuff like that." She pulled his head down for another quick kiss and continued breathlessly, "I love you, Alec. I really do."

Alec quickly recovered from his shock at the abrupt kiss and gasped out, "I love you, too, Max. I _know_ deep down I always have. And I always will. And I'm never gonna leave you again."

Alec held onto her delicate frame as he lovingly placed light kisses on the top of her head.

Her arms wrapped around him even tighter. The tingling going down her spine at his touch seemed to bring her to life. She took a moment to stare into his eyes again, and this time she noticed her own shining back at her with a happy glow that had been missing ever since the last time she'd seen him at Terminal City.

"You know you're a liar," she said teasingly, still holding onto him.

"I guess I can accept that," he told her lightly. "I mean, I've been called worse by you. Lucky for you that you didn't name me 'Dick' after all. That would kinda suck at parties, right? 'Hey guys! This is my boyfriend, Dick.' "

Max punched him teasingly in the shoulder. "I'm serious!" she insisted, despite the playful glare she was giving.

"Okay," he conceded. "Why am I a liar?"

"You told me you were going to give me flowers."

The memory of Max laying in his arms after the raid flashed through his mind for a moment. "I did say that, didn't I?"

"Um, yeah!" she half-joked.

Alec suddenly grabbed her hand and pulled her toward the door.

"Woah, what are you doing?"

His face was lit with pure happiness. "Well I think I owe you some flowers, don't I?"

"Yes," she agreed before pulling him toward her again. "But I think we can worry about that later." She pulled him toward her and slid her lips over his for another kiss.

Alec couldn't help falling into the moment.

But as soon as she pulled away breathlessly with a satisfied grin, he continued to head toward the door.

"Alec!" she protested.

He motioned for her to follow him. "Come on, Max. This won't be long. Trust me." This time, he waited for her to grab onto his outstretched hand.

Max eyed him suspiciously. What could he be planning? Part of her wished she hadn't teased him so much. Right now, the desires that had been suppressed for so long didn't want to wait a second more to finally be with the man that she'd fallen in love with.

But as she stared at his eager face, her lips couldn't help but twitch upward. He was positively beaming. She slid her hand into his as she answered him, "Of course I trust you."

Alec's smile lit up his face as he opened the door and rushed down the street, dragging along a laughing Max.

_

* * *

_

After following Alec through a complex series of twists and turns through parts of the city she didn't know existed, Max found herself standing before a rusted gate. Alec had stopped his hurried half-walk half-jog and now turned to face Max, his apparent excitement shining through and making Max laugh in spite of herself. Alec was too adorable for words.

Max glanced around curiously. Beyond the gate was a dirt path that must have led to a small park before the Pulse had virtually eliminated any desire to frolic in a park on a sunny day. Sunny days almost didn't exist in Seattle anyways.

The grass beyond was long and thick like a head of unkempt hair that needed washing. A few moths were white specks lost in the forest of glossy green as they rested on the long blades. Weeds popped up randomly throughout the untamed field.

There was nothing really spectacular about the place. Max turned back to Alec with confusion evident on her face.

"Um…" she trailed in speechless puzzlement.

"Go on, open the gate!" Alec said enthusiastically.

"I thought _you _were leading the way," Max said coyly.

"And I thought _you _said you trusted me," Alec returned smoothly.

Max laughed softly to herself. Alec was right; she _did _trust him. Even though the place he'd led her to looked more than unpleasant, she took his word for it and tugged at the gate's latch, letting the thing swing with a small screech as its rusty hinges worked to give the pair of transgenics entry.

Max picked her way carefully along the dirt path, keeping off of the grass and focusing on taking in the strange and isolated place. She heard Alec's steps behind her and his presence reassured her as she went further on, the scenery darkening as the trail led into a thick forest.

Max entered the forest with Alec right behind her and marveled at the outburst of life. It was just an ordinary forest, but the trees loomed around her in a surreal way. The fact that she was taking a sort of nature walk with Alec after so many years gave the experience all the more a feeling of enchantment.

They walked on for what seemed like forever, and whenever they came to a split path, Alec pointed out the right way but still made Max lead, the smile still lingering on his face. Max looked back at Alec suddenly.

"How much farther is it?"

"Is what?" Alec asked playfully.

Max frowned in thought. "I don't even know. Where are you taking me?"

Alec laughed now. "I'm not taking you anywhere. You're walking of your own free will, Max."

"Alec!"

"It's not much further, Maxie. Trust me."

_He keeps saying that! _she thought in slight frustration. That phrase couldn't help but make her keep on without questioning him. It made her realize, once again, just how much she'd grown to love this man.

Alec was true to his word, though. The trail went on for only about one more minute before Max stood at the trail's end and gazed in wonder at the sight that greeted her eyes.

There was a clearing that let sunlight in to splatter lovingly over what appeared to be a beautiful little flower garden. There were bushes and trees that were decorated with bunches of perfumed blossoms in all sorts of colors and shapes. Max's jaw slackened as they went further into the corners of the clearing. It was absolutely gorgeous!

She turned to face Alec with eyes shining in awe. "What - ? How did you - ?"

Alec laughed out loud at her reaction. "It's a garden. Josh and some of the other guys at Terminal City started working on it, and Josh led me here right before I left. He told me I was always welcome to come and water the flowers or whatever. If I ever wanted to. I remembered the place and sorta came here after a couple of years of being away from you… It was kinda like the source of beauty in my life when I was feelin' down, since I couldn't see you every day…" Alec trailed, realizing how cheesy he must have sounded.

Max's eyes widened at the news. "Josh made this?"

"Well, and some of the others. They were out on a heist one day and got caught by a couple of the more persistent groups of Ordinaries who wanted to get on the news by ridding the world of a few more freaks. They chased 'em 'til they reached the forest edge, and Josh and the guys naturally took to the trees. Then they found _this_. There were a few flowers already here, and our lovable dog-boy wanted to turn it into another sort of art project." Alec chuckled lightly. "And the others agreed. They've tended it as a kind of secret garden. It's no Eden, but it's pretty incredible anyways," he finished, looking around him in open admiration.

"It's beautiful," Max mumbled as she joined Alec in admiration.

After the lingering pause as the two took in their surroundings, Alec broke the silence with a quick intake of breath. "So. Which one do you want?"

Max snapped her head around to face Alec again, her own face crumpled in confusion. "What?"

Alec spread his hands as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "You said I owed you flowers, right? Well… pick one! You can have any flower you want."

"Oh, no, I couldn't take some of Josh's flowers…," Max said softly, shaking her head.

Alec gave her a level look. "Max. I helped out here, too. I don't think they'd mind if I gathered some flowers for a worthy woman." He flashed her a charming smile.

Max stared at him long and hard. "I can really have one?" she asked seriously.

Alec chuckled again. "Yes, you can have one. You can have flowers, stars, oceans, _motorcycles_, or anything else you want from me," he said joyfully, waving his hands dramatically and beaming at her once more.

Max laughed at his antics. He was so goofy! And she loved him for it. She took another look around her at the closest thing to paradise she was likely to find in this world. She leaned into one of the bushes and inhaled deeply, letting her smile widen at the sensations all around her. The flowers were so beautiful, the scent they emitted so enticing, the feel of the petals as she gathered them around her so soft and caressing. They were truly wonderful.

But they weren't perfect. Something was missing…

Max turned from the flowers and looked up at Alec lovingly. The sight of Alec smiling at her in the sunlight was gorgeous, his scent intoxicating, the feel of his arms around her and his lips on hers soft, warm, strong, and safe. Max smiled at her thoughts. She knew exactly which flower she wanted.

She walked up to Alec, her gaze locked onto his face and a smile spread warmly on her own. Alec's smile faltered as Max approached him. His eyes lit up with desire.

"I can have… _anything_… I want?" she asked quietly in a low, husky voice as she closed the gap between them.

Alec swallowed and stared deep into her eyes. "Anything."

Max stopped moving when she was only inches away from the man she loved. She reached up and laid a gentle hand on his cheek. Alec leaned into her touch and let his lips part so that Max felt his quiet breathing against her palm.

"I want _you_," she said with a conviction that made Alec smirk.

"Well, you've already got that. You've had it for about four or five years," he said with a grin.

It was Max's turn to smirk then. "No, Alec. I want you. _All _of you."

Alec quickly glanced around at the tree-enclosed clearing and back at Max in slight confusion. "Wha – Now?" he stuttered.

He was nervous… The knowledge made Max give him a full-blown smile. He really was too adorable for words. "Why not? We've waited long enough, I think."

Alec's smile slipped again and he looked seriously at Max. "Are you sure?"

Max's grin stretched across her face and allowed her teeth to show, white and gleaming. She didn't feel nervous at all. In fact, she felt a happy giggle try to escape her. Max never in a million years thought she'd ever feel happy enough to giggle, but she'd found the happiness she'd been missing all along when she stood looking up at Alec. Her eyes danced in the sunlight and she practically glowed with joy.

"I've never been more sure of anything in my entire life," she said honestly.

Alec leaned in and kissed her long and hard. All the passion between them found release as the pair lost themselves in the taste of each other. Max felt her knees literally weaken as Alec practically kissed the life out of her. She couldn't keep a moan of pleasure from escaping her as Alec deepened the kiss and managed to somehow lift her up off of the ground at the same time.

Max's feet dangled from his arms as she continued to kiss him in his arms. Alec paused to lay her gently down on the soft grass. He pulled his shirt off over his head and laid down next to her. Max purred appreciatively at the hard-muscled body of a grown man he'd acquired in their time apart. As soon as he was within reach, Max pressed against him to steal another kiss.

Alec broke the kiss suddenly and gasped for breath. He looked at her with longing and desire, and his heart swelled once more with a fierce love for this amazing, incredible woman. Max just looked at him curiously, a few petals from the fragrant white flowers above them clinging to her dark hair.

"I love you, Max. I love you so much," Alec gasped out.

Max let a smile decorate her face for about the millionth time since she'd reunited with Alec. "I love you, too, Alec. Now shut up and kiss me."

* * *

**a/n**: as always, thanks so much for reading! you all know how I appeciate reviews. 


End file.
